Nick's Bytes

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-26T00:01:00.001-05:00

A Few of the Many Blessings for which I Am Thankful

Celtic Prayers for Thanksgiving 2009

We look to the day when sharing by all will mean scarcity for none.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Shalom, my Friends

Preparing for Thanksgiving

2009-11-24T16:59:00.003-05:00

This morning I began preparing for Thanksgiving. It will be celebrated at home with Alex. Just us two. That's OK; there are few humans that would make better companions than Alex.

Thanks to a friend who wishes to remain anonymous I received the basic elements of my Thanksgiving dinner in this box.

Inside, frozen very, very hard, was a boneless turkey breast, garlic mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and mashed sweet potatoes. My mouth is watering just thinking about this feast!

Then, thanks to a financial gift from a Louisville United Church of Christ congregation, I went grocery shopping for items to round out Thanksgiving dinner:

Of course, I don't plan to eat the cat food. That's for Alex, who was excited when I returned home from shopping but did not offer to help bring the grocery bags from the car to the house.

I was also able to afford refills of two prescriptions, one for my diabetes and the other for my congestive heart failure. Had it not been for the gracious blessings, I'd have had to wait until December 1st, when my pension check is deposited.

I thank my friend who wishes to remain anonymous and the congregation for thinking of me and sharing.

Too Bad It's Monday Jokes & Humor

2009-11-23T00:01:00.001-05:00

Sunday Mishmash

2009-11-22T00:01:00.003-05:00

November 22, 1963:

A young man rode with his head held high,
Under the Texas sun,
And no one guessed,
That a man so blessed,
Would perish by the gun,
Lord, would perish by the gun.

A shot rang out like a Southern shout,
And Heaven held its breath,
For a man shot down,
In a Southern town,
In the summer of his years,
Yes, the summer of his years.

A Blessing for Thanksgiving Week

May the blessing of light be on you - light without and light within.

May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great peat fire, so that stranger and friend may come and warm himself at it.

And may light shine out of the two eyes of you, like a candle set in the window of a house, bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm.

And may the blessing of the rain be on you, may it beat upon your Spirit and wash it fair and clean, and leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines, and sometimes a star.

And may the blessing of the earth be on you, soft under your feet as you pass along the roads, soft under you as you lie out on it, tired at the end of day; and may it rest easy over you when, at last, you lie out under it.

May it rest so lightly over you that your soul may be out from under it quickly; up and off and on its way to God.

And now may the Lord bless you, and bless you kindly. Amen.

~An Ancient Scottish Blessing

The other day I promised to create some "artsy" pictures from Alex's photographs just as I did with mine. The job is finished! Alex and I have uploaded them onto his blog, where you may peruse them. However, Alex is not happy that I screwed with his handsome image.

Alexicon: A Kitty Katz Life wiff hiz Hoomin Bean

As I mentioned a few days ago, I'm developing my 5th blog. It's working title is Nick's Pics and it will be all photos and graphics that I've created. I had planned to have at least its header to show you today, but I'm not satisfied with any that I've created thus far!

Yesterday's Nick's Bytes post had few visitors and few comments. I wonder if it was too serious -- or, too crazy!

Peace, Freedom, Justice

Shall I close with some (previously posted) KATZ ?

Aint nobody clicked in a very long time

Please take a moment to
Click for Nick
You may also Click for Alex
OK?

Peace, Freedom, and Justice

2009-11-21T10:00:00.001-05:00

When a nation goes to war, the first casualty is, of course, Peace. The second is the Freedom of its citizens. And the third is Justice. Peace, Freedom, and Justice are so dear to us that I wonder why we give them up in order to make war. ~ The Rev. Nicholas L. Temple, sermon of March 10th, 2002

In the weeks and months following the 2001 terrorist attacks on the United States, my critical (suspicious? paranoid?) mind went into high gear. In other words, I was thunkin'. My primary question was:
What is the truth about and Who benefits (cui bono ) from the 9/11 attacks, the War on Terrorism, & The Patriot Act?

My answers, of course, led to more questions, the majority of which have not and may never be answered.

The most frightening of these was a recognition was that the only ones who really benefit from the 9/11 attacks are the extreme right-wing proponents of a powerful, autocratic government in the United States.
The War on Terrorism has engaged the United States in a war that probably cannot be won and will last not years, but generations.
The Patriot Act provided the right wing with almost all of the police powers limiting personal freedom and civil liberties that they have been seeking for many years.

For a long time I believe that I was alone in asking these questions. The citizens of the United States, baited by the fear mongering of the Bush/Chaney administration, seemed to frightened to ask probing questions. It has only been in recent months that I have realized that others have been asking the same questions and reaching similar conclusions:

Many adherents of the 9/11 Truth movement suspect that United States government insiders played a part in the attacks, or at the very least knew they were coming and let them occur anyway.

Those within the movement who argue that insiders within the United States government were directly responsible for the September 11 attacks, often allege that the attacks were planned and executed in order to provide the U.S. with a pretext for going to war in the Middle East and, by extension, as a means of consolidating and extending the power of the Bush Administration. According to these allegations, this would have given the Bush administration the justification to clamp down on civil liberties and invade Afghanistan and Iraq to ensure future supplies of oil. In some cases, hawks in the White House, especially former Vice President Dick Cheney , and members of the PNAMC, a neoconservative think tank, have been accused of involvement in or awareness of the alleged plot. ~ Wikipedia, 9/11 Truth movement

We may never truly know what was behind the 9/11 attacks. Perhaps Attorney General Eric Holder 's decision to bring Khalid Sheik Mohammed and four other accused terrorists to justice in a New York federal court rather than behind closed doors of a military tribunal may give us some insights into the truth. Perhaps that's why the right-wing is so opposed to a public trial. I don't know.

I do know that history attests that Peace, Freedom and Justice have been casualties of the War on Terrorism. I pray the the Obama administration is able to restore those blessed gifts to the American people.

Messing Around With Graphics

2009-11-19T11:00:00.003-05:00

Last night, while awaiting my 4-pawed feline buddy to decide to come home from catting around outside, I played with a couple of graphics programs in an attempt to create a new header for Nick's Bytes. The result is now the header above.

This morning I played with Corel Paint, the program that created the pic of me in the header. (The final version with the title I created with Print Master). I have never really messed around with Paint, so I did some experimenting. The results are below.

Soooooo, give me your opinion: which do you like or dislike. Should I create a header using any of these to replace the graphic? Should I scrap the new header and start over?

OK, art critics, do your thing!

Modern Oil on Canvas

Acrylic

Impressionist Oil

In the style of Seurat

Water Color on Paper

Classical Oil on Canvus

Irritate!

2009-11-18T00:30:00.005-05:00

You may not have wanted to be around me yesterday (Tuesday). I was, uh, irritable. Yeah, me! Perhaps you may not have noticed my mood: I smiled, made pleasant and even humorous statements. I may have seemed like good ole' Charlie Brow...., a mean, jolly Sometimes Saintly Nick. However, below that exterior I felt provoked unto aggravation! Or something like that.

I felt irritated because people irritated me. The beginning of the day was excellent! When I opened my mail I found a check for a very small amount of money. Very small! However, it was still twice the amount I had in the bank. That check would seem a paltry sum to most, but I was excited because I had a vision of being able to pay the (seemingly) insignificant co-pay to refill my Rx for Furosemide, the medicine that I take for congestive heart failure. I had been concerned early yesterday morning because I had taken the last tablet of Furosemide and knew I did not have the small co-pay I needed to have it refilled for another month.

Do you realize the joy I had when I opened that envelope and found that small check which was four times what I needed for the co-pay? All I had to do was meet with three people who were coming to my house from the company with whom the Veterans Administration has a contract to provide oxygen to us lungers.

But that was the rub. The three showed up half an hour late for the appointment. And the stated purpose for the visit -- to check on the equipment that they supplied -- was, uh, a bit understated. They did much more than check the equipment!

When the three came through the door, I felt as if my home was being invaded. They went throughout my home, not only looking at the oxygen compressor and bottled oxygen that their company provides, but searching to see if I had a fully-charged fire extinguisher and working smoke alarms.

One alarm didn't beep when the commander-in-chief punched it with one of my sticks, so I handed her a nine-volt battery and pointed to the small ladder in the spare bedroom while telling her that I don't do ladders. She climbed the ladder and replaced the battery. Very good!

Up to this point I was annoyed by their lateness, arrival like a squad of Nazi Storm Troopers, and invasive behavior. However, what took place next really got me pissed off--uh, I mean irate.

The chief inquisitor began asking me all sorts of asinine questions, such as do I ever fall down, do I use my gas stove, do I understand how to operate the oxygen compressor (huh? I've been using an oxygen compressor since 1991), do I have emergency telephone numbers written down by the phone (hell no! I have them programed into the telephone!) What was my fire escape plan? (Well, if I am in the front of the house, I grab Alex and go out the front door; if I am in the back of the house, I grab Alex and go out the back door).

While I was being interrogated, one of the other three stooges walked into my bathroom and examined the expiration dates on my medicines. He commented that one would expire in about 4 months. And, I, feeling less and less saintly, replied that I will have consumed it before it expires. Besides, WTF do my medicines have to do with oxygen provision?

Then he asked me how much I weigh! And did I want to ask VA to rent an hospital bed for my use from his company!

Do you understand what was behind my increasing irritation? Why a began feeling like I want to live as a 100% hermit? How deep inside me some primitive spark flickered with the desire to chase them out of the house with one of my samurai swords? Why I wished that Alex (who cat napped through the entire invasion) was an attack cat, maybe a puma?

Well, I remained cool and even gentlemanly. I smiled and said appropriate things and even told couple of jokes... even though I had the desire to ask them, "WTF, do I appear to be a blithering idiot?"

After the invading troops withdrew, I glanced at my watch and realized that I had only about 25 minutes to make it to the bank before it closed. I did make it and I made it to the drug store and I obtained another 30 days of Furosemide.

Lord, I thank you that this day is over! Amen.

Too Bad It's Monday Jokes & Humor

2009-11-16T00:01:00.001-05:00

In the spring of 2005, shortly after I began blogging, I began posting the jokes I had received in my previous week’s email under the title Too Bad It’s Monday (T.B.I.M.) as the reverse of T.G.I.F. (Thank God It’s Friday). So again I am going to share with you what I consider to be the best of the humor I have received in the past week. You may not agree with all of my choices, but if even one joke brings you a smile on T.B.I.M., my goal has been achieved.

Dog Wisdom

1) The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous

2) Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -Ann Landers

3) If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -Will Rogers

4) There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -Ben Williams

5) A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings

6) We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. -M. Acklam

7) Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. -Sigmund Freud

8) I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -Rita Rudner

9) A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -Robert Benchley

10) Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. -Dave Barry

11) Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -Franklin P. Jones

12) If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. -Unknown

13) My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein

14) Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -Anne Tyler

15) Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein

16) Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

17) Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman. -Dave Miliman

18) If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -Mark Twain

19) Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras

20) If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. -Phil Pastoret

21) My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am. -- an Ole Hoss Dog Wisdom

Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy, "Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me."

The caddy argued with him a bit and suggested that he instead play it safe and hit a 4-iron then a wedge.

The golfer was insulted and proceeded to berate the caddy on the tee telling him that he was a better golfer than that and how dare he under estimate his game.

So, giving in the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for.

He proceeded to top the ball and watched as it folled about fifteen yards off the front of the tee.

Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, "And now for one hell of a putt..."

Business Calls

Operator: “Samsung Electronics .”

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?".

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?".

---

RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?.

Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?

---

There was a caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: Woven?. Are you sure?.

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland".

---

Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please".

Operator: "Where are you calling from?".

Caller: "The living room".

---

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".

---

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".

Customer: "OK".

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?".

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?".

Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?".

---

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

---

Operator: “British Rail .”

Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?"

Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free."

---

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"

Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".

Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

A man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?"

The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond, keep moving closer, asking the same question until she hears you."

He went home and saw his wife preparing dinner. Standing fifteen feet behind her, he said, "What's for dinner, honey?"

Hearing no reply, he moved up to ten feet behind her and repeated the question.

Still no reply, so he moved to five feet. Still no answer.

Finally he stood directly behind her and said, "Honey, what's for dinner tonight?"

"FOR THE FOURTH TIME, I SAID CHICKEN, You'd better get your hearing checked!"

This one happened few years ago in Switzerland: A man went to a photo shop, had pictures taken, and - while the photographer developed the pictures - he took off with the cash register.

Leaving behind, of course, the pictures of himself.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "There is another Washington...wait until you see the idiots I put there."

KATZ

A Very Small World: SSG Amy S. Krueger in Memorium

2009-11-13T12:51:00.014-05:00

Earlier this afternoon I learned that SSG Amy S. Krueger was the great-niece of United Church of Christ pastor, the Rev. John Krueger. I did not personally know Amy, but I did know the Rev. Krueger as a colleague and friend. Amy was one of the thirteen killed at the Fort Hood massacre. I have searched the Internet for a biography of her. This is the best I can find:

Sgt. Krueger, 29, of Kiel, Wis., joined the Army after the 2001 terrorist attacks and had vowed to take on Osama bin Laden, her mother, Jeri Krueger said.

Sgt. Krueger arrived at Fort Hood on Tuesday and was scheduled to be sent to Afghanistan in December, the mother told the Herald Times Reporter of Manitowoc. Ms. Krueger recalled telling her daughter that she could not take on bin Laden by herself. “Watch me,” her daughter replied.

Kiel High School Principal Dario Talerico said that Sgt. Krueger graduated from the school in 1998 and had spoken at least once to local elementary school students about her career. “I just remember that Amy was a very good kid, who like most kids in a small town are just looking for what their next step in life was going to be and she chose the military,” Talerico said. “Once she got into the military, she really connected with that kind of lifestyle and was really proud to serve her country.”

– Wall Street Journal blogs

Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant, Amy Krueger. Acknowledge, we humbly pray, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, and a daughter of your own redeeming. Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the company of the saints of light. Amen

Veterans' Day, 2009

2009-11-11T00:01:00.001-05:00

A Print

When I first saw the print below, I stood before it gazing and remembering my friends who have died in military service. It took me a while to save the money to purchase it, but I did and it has been on the wall of four living rooms since then. I still stand at gaze at it--and remember.

A Gift

This little bear was given to me by the staff of Home Instead, who the Veterans Administration contracts to provide my 9-hours-per-week caregiver.

A Tradition

Since I first heard Canadian Terry Kelly's song, A Pittance of Time, I have incorporated it into several blog posts. Please. take a moment-- a pittance of time-- to watch it. OK?

A Soldier’s Prayer (Dedicated To All Who Serve)

The soldier stood and faced his God Which must always come to pass...
He hoped his shoes were shining Just as brightly as his brass.
"Step forward now, you soldier, How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek? To My Church have you been true?"
The soldier squared his shoulders and Said, "No, Lord, I guess I ain't...
Because those of us who carry guns Can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays And at times my talk was tough,
And sometimes I've been violent, Because the streets are awfully tough.
But, I never took a penny That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime When the bills got just too steep,
And I never passed a cry for help, Though at times I shook with fear,
And sometimes, God forgive me, I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place Among the people here...
They never wanted me around Except to calm their fears.
If you've a place for me here, Lord, It needn't be so grand,
I never expected or had too much, But if you don't, I'll understand."
There was a silence all around the throne Where the saints had often trod...
As the soldier waited quietly, For the judgment of his God,
"Step forward now you soldier,
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."

(Author Unknown)

A Dream (and a Hope): Pete Seeger & Theodore Bikel

Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream
words and music by Ed McCurdy

Last night I had the strangest dream
I'd ever dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war

I dreamed I saw a mighty room
Filled with women and men
And the paper they were signing said
They'd never fight again

And when the paper was all signed
And a million copies made
They all joined hands and bowed their heads
And grateful pray'rs were prayed

And the people in the streets below
Were dancing 'round and 'round
While swords and guns and uniforms
Were scattered on the ground

Last night I had the strangest dream
I'd never dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war.

Too Bad It's Monday Jokes & Humor

2009-11-09T00:05:00.003-05:00

Support Cannibalism — EAT ME!
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.
Keep honking while I reload.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
Just say no! to sex with pro-lifers.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

A preacher concludes his service by saying, "Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the 17th chapter of Mark."

The following Sunday, the preacher says, "Now, all of you who have done as I requested and read the 17th chapter of Mark, please raise your hands."

Nearly every hand in the congregation goes up.

The preacher continues, "You are the people I want to talk to. There is no 17th chapter of Mark."

A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She goes back to find out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently been circumcised and he's quite itchy. The teacher tells him to go down to the principal's office, to phone his mum, and ask her what he should do about it.

He does this and returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there's a general commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom" she says.

"I did" he says. "She told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

Mr. Turtle was walking down the road when he spotted a crow at the tip top of a very tall tree. He shouted, "Good Morning, Mr. Crow."

Mr. Crow shouted back down, "Good Morning Mr. Turtle." Mr. Turtle shouted up, "Whatcha doin' today?" and the answer shouted back down was, "Absolutely nothin' Mr. Turtle - Absolutely nothin' and loving it."

Well, that sounded pretty good to Mr. Turtle, so he shouted back up, "Do you think I could do that too?" Mr. Crow shouted back down, "I don't see why not!" So, Mr. Turtle lay down on the side of the road and began Doing Absolutely Nothing.

In 30 minutes a fox came along and ate him.

The moral of the story is: You can get away with Doing Absolutely Nothing, but only if you are really high up.

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

One day, a man walks into a house of pleasure and says, ''Give me your most dangerous whore.''

The clerk says, ''She's in room 3A.''

The man goes to room 3A and sees a woman with a black leather suit, whips and chains. She tells him that, if he wants danger, then they could have sex on the peak of the roof. The man quickly agrees and they go to the roof and go at it for a while, and then they both fall off the roof, still ''together.'' They land on the sidewalk.

A drunk man walks by, sees them together, and walks into the house of pleasure. The madame says, ''Hey! I thought I told you never to come back here again! Get out, now!''

To this, the drunk replies, ''I just came in here to tell you that your sign fell down.''

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags. The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it. She says, "Meow." The cop confirms that it is just a cat. The second cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it. She says, "Woof." The cop says that it is just a dog. The third cop pokes the bag with the blonde in it. She say in her sweetest voice, "Potato."

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton

Q: What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white?

A: A nun falling down stairs.

WISE (?) WORDS

WINSTON CHURCHILL

MARK TWAIN

KURT VONNEGUT

HUNTER S. THOMPSON

HOMER SIMPSON

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. ~ Oscar Wilde
A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry. ~ Anonymous
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that. ~ Ellen DeGeneres
Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown. ~ Conan OBrien
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. ~ Garrison Keillor
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. ~ William G. McAdoo
If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto. ~ Frankie Boyle
We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him. ~ Napoleon Bonaparte
It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job: it's a depression when you lose yours. ~ Harry S. Truman Start every day with a smile and get it over with. ~ W.C. Fields

KATZ

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Light

2009-11-08T05:44:00.001-05:00

May the blessing of light be on you - light without and light within. May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great peat fire, so that stranger and friend may come and warm himself at it. And may light shine out of the two eyes of you, like a candle set in the window of a house, bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm. And may the blessing of the rain be on you, may it beat upon your Spirit and wash it fair and clean, and leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines, and sometimes a star. And may the blessing of the earth be on you, soft under your feet as you pass along the roads, soft under you as you lie out on it, tired at the end of day; and may it rest easy over you when, at last, you lie out under it. May it rest so lightly over you that your soul may be out from under it quickly; up and off and on its way to God. And now may the Lord bless you, and bless you kindly. Amen.

~An Ancient Scottish Blessing

Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow: the Work for Justice & Peace Continues

2009-11-06T15:50:00.001-05:00

Yesterday

To me, the Blogblast for Peace on November 5th was a magnificent success. There were Peace Globes and posts on both Nick's Bytes and Alex's Alexicon blogs. I do not know how many blogs participated: I personally visited almost 40 blogs that celebrated the event by displaying Peace Globes and very creative posting related to peace and, often, justice in our hurting and bloodied world. (You may want to visit Mimi and thank her for creating and managing the Blogblast for Peace and perhaps express condolences regarding the very recent death of her father).

Yesterday I filled with peace...until I received a Breaking News Alert from CNN in my email: Mass Shooting at Fort Hood. I am certain that I need not report the details, the media is doing that overly well. With 13 dead and 31 wounded, the news shocked and horrified me.

I left my computer and turned on the TV for more information. What I found was very little more information, but (as usual) as gaggle of talking-heads commenting on what they knew very little about. The media coverage disturbed me almost must as much as the shootings horrified me. I felt like telephoning CNN and shouting, Keep your bloody mouths shut until you have some facts to report.

Of course, CNN continued the speculative broadcasting as did ABC, CBS, NBC, and , of course, the worst of the yellow journalists, FOX. The "reporting" sickened me.

Today

Nina made a comment on Face Book today that summed up my greatest fears regarding yesterday's yellow journalism:

Driving home last night I received a call from a friend who is Muslims. She said you know they are going to blame Muslims. I arrived home and John said you know they are going to blame Psychiatrists. On the news last night someone said the military needs to take responsibility for this. This morning I have to ask, whatever happened to personal responsibility?

Nina's words turned my thoughts to the days when one of my roles was as a teacher of ethics. In using simulations to teach ethics, I have found that personal responsibility--he did it and he is responsible for his act--usually takes second place to placing the blame on a group. I have always wondered why we do that -- unless, of course, we prefer to deny our own responsibly for our actions.

I shall write a blog post in the near future presenting an ethical game that plays out this strange phenomenon: The Troll on the Bridge. In the meantime, I have been praying for the victims of this terrible violence and their families.

Earlier today as I was engaged in reflecting on yesterday's events, I received another Breaking News Alert: Multiple people shot at Orlando office building; suspect at large. My first response was incredibility; my second was that could it be a copycat acting out the Fort Hood shootings in Orlando?

I don't know the answer and, unlike the media reporting on this second horror in two days, I'll await the facts before I write anything else. I am praying for the victims of today's violence as I have been for the victims of yesterday's atrocity.

A 40-year-old former engineer who was fired two years ago apparently returned to his former firm and shot six people, killing one, Friday morning in an Orlando high-rise, according to police and his former employer. ~ The Washington Post

Tomorrow

I have received several emails informing me that tomorrow the House of Representatives of the United States has the opportunity to right a very long-standing injustice. Tomorrow the House votes on a Health Care Reform bill that will make medical care as available to the poor as it has been for the wealthy. Each email asked me to either telephone my Congressional Representative, Congressman John Yarmuth, and urge that he vote yes on the legislation. Of course I did, even though I already knew that he is going to cast an affirmative vote.

As I am sure you know, I take a personal interest in this legislation. Almost four years of being without health insurance, four years of being without the life-long medications I have been prescribed to counter the genetic clinical depression from which I and others in my family suffer, four years of sinking lower and lower into depression and the real potential of suicide have made me very aware of how expensive and out-of-reach medical care is in the United States for those without money or health insurance.

My very brief experience as a licensed agent selling life and health insurance has made me aware of the greed, lies, and manipulations of at least one insurance company. I do not believe that that insurance company is all that unique.

This injustice in health care has needed change for almost 100 years. As long ago as 1912, President Theodore Roosevelt (you know that he was a Republican, don't you?) sought national health care legislation. The basic issue for Roosevelt, affordable health care for all Americans, has not changed. Tomorrow I pray that the poor and infirm of the United States will finally receive justice.

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Blogblast for Peace 2009

2009-11-05T00:01:00.008-05:00

The other night I had a deram that was filled with one song. I think that I was singing it with Pete Seeger's voice. I did nor know what the song in the dream was telling me, until I felt inspired to use it in this 2009 Blogblast ofr Peace post:

Turn, Turn, Turn

Words-adapted from The Bible, the book of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Music-Pete Seeger

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

Less than 24 hours until Blogbast for Peace

2009-11-04T04:40:00.004-05:00

Are ya ready for some Peace bloggin'?
Tomorrow's the day!

Too Bad It's Monday Jokes & Humor

2009-11-02T01:00:00.001-05:00

My mother taught me LOGIC... "Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT... "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.
My mother taught me IRONY... "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS... "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM... "Will you just look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA... "You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER... "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY... "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE... "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION... "Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY... "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned to read, so when he married and started a checking account, he signed his checks simply "XX".

Eventually he started his own business, which immediately prospered.

He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank. "Mr. Schwartz," said the banker, "I need to ask you about this check. We weren't sure you had really signed it. All these years you've been signing your checks 'XX', but we just got one that was signed with three XXX's..."

Mr. Schwartz answered, "No problem, my friend. It's just that since I've become so wealthy, my wife thought I ought to have a middle name."

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?"

"My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny.

"Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted.

"No," said Johnny, "but he minded his own freakin' business."

Joe sets up his friend Michael to go on a blind date with a friend of a friend of his. But Mike is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's ugly?" says Mike, "I'll be stuck with her all night."

"Don't worry," Joe says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaauuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack. That'll give you an excuse to cancel the date right then and there."

So that night, Mike knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts:

"Aaaaaauuuggghhh!"

WISE (?) WORDS

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
~ William Dement
Every single time I come close to discovering the meaning of life, someone reboots the whole thing with a new operating system. ~ Robert Rouse
Before a war military science seems a real science, like astronomy; but after a war it seems more like astrology. ~ Rebecca West
This is like deja vu all over again. ~ Yogi Berra
Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either. ~ Gore Vidal
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. ~ H. G. Wells
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. ~ Napoleon Bonaparte
Don't be so humble; you are not that great. ~Golda Meir (Prime Minister of Israel)to a visiting diplomat
Sex and religion are closer to each other than either might prefer. ~ Saint Thomas Moore (1478-1535)
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. ~ Saint Augustine (354-430)
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. ~ Albert Einstein

KATZ

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Halloween in The Woods

2009-10-31T00:01:00.001-04:00

There have been quite a few "scary" programs on TV this week. I've watched a few of them. A couple I even found of interest, such as those on the History Channel's Seven Nights of Fear. None of those programs frightened me.

Perhaps becuse it was all audio with no video to impose itself on the images my mind created, I found certain programs of the National Public Radio (NPR) series Halloween Tricks And Audio Treats a bit more blood curdling. (You may follow the link in the last sentence to listen to the programs and judge for yourself).

On this eve of All Hallows Even, I have been think of the most frightening Halloween that I ever experienced. It was 55 years ago, when I was eight years old.

The first ten years of my life were spent in a small cottage in the West End of Louisville, behind which was as area known to us either as "The Commons" or "The Woods." I have no idea to whom the tract of forest belonged. It was about one block long and a half block or so deep. For us kids, it was a grand play ground; I knew every path through it, even glade in it, and was on speaking terms with most of the trees.

For all of my familiarity with The Woods, I only entered it in daylight. There was something intimidating about The Woods when night fell. My bedroom window overlooked our back yard and beyond that, The Woods. At night I seldom looked out my window into The Woods. Strange and often scary sounds came from The Woods that, in summer with the window open to cool air, had me pulling the covers up over my head.

As an adult I now realize that most of those sounds were made by the night creatures, such as owls and a fox or two, whose homes were in The Woods. When I was eight years old, buried in my bed beneath my covers, my mind imagined more gruesome creatures beyond my bedroom window.

By the age of eight I was allowed to go Trick 'r Treating on my own at the two houses north of us and the six houses south of us, all on the same side of the street. For two of those visits I was saddled with-- accompanied by--my four-year-old sister. Being four, she quickly tired of all the walking. At least I convinced her that she was tired and that she wanted to go home and explore the treats in her bag. So I returned her to our house and headed back out to join with some of my peers in visiting the houses south of my house.

Of course, even with the neighbors complimenting each of us on our costume, Trick 'r Treating at a half dozen houses didn't take much time. When we finished, I still had at least half an hour before I was to be home. What could three costumed eight-year-olds do on Halloween night?

I believe it was JImmy, who was, at nine, the oldest of us Three Musketeers, who suggested that we explore The Woods. Since The Woods chiledl to the bone even when I was in bed with the covers pulled up over my head, I didn't think that exploring The Woods in the darkness of Halloween night was a very good idea. However, Jimmy had a flashlight and Roy Rogers pocket knife and I didn't want to be seen as a cowardly little kid, I accompanied Jimmy and our comrad into The Woods.

Since I knew every path in The Woods by heart, I found that our expedition wasn't as eerie as I had expected. Until--isn't there always an until?--we walked over a little knoll and the beam of Jimmy flashlight disclosed something (someone) white and waving in the branches of a tree in front of us. Jimmy screamed, turned and knocked me down was he retreated at full-speed back down the path.

Knocked on my back, I found myself alone in the darkness of The Woods, the white whatever fluttering in a tree a few yards from me. I don't remember getting to my feet; I do remember navigating the paths in The Woods as fast as I could run, until I came to the gate that led to my backyard.

I did not stop running until I was inside the house and in the brightly lighted living room where my mother, father, and sister were exploring the treats she had collected. It was then that I realized that I no longer had my Trick 'r Treat bag. And, that I really didn't care.

It was another two or three days before I again entered The Woods. It was daylight, of course, and my dog, Boo-Boo accompanied me. Secure that my dog could protect me from anything, I again climbed that little knoll. I looked up into the branches of that tree. Yes, I knew which tree it was because I was friends with all of the trees in The Woods. Nothing was there. No white, fluttering anything.

As Boo-Boo and I turned to go back down the path, I spotted my Trick 'r Treat bag on the ground. Not one piece of candy had fallen from it. So Boo-Boo and I made our way to my "secret place" in THe Woods, a very small glen that couldn't be seen from the path. There I ate enough candy to make me not interested in dinner.

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Friday Mishmash

2009-10-30T01:00:00.001-04:00

The Blog Blast for Peace is almost here!

Have you created your Peace Globe?

Sometimes Saintly Nick's 2009 Peace Globe

Alex's 2009 Peace Globe

Are you aware of the proposed International Megan's Law?

This is an issue that has concerned me for many years:

At the moment there is before Congress there is a bill that could make a real difference in the fight against the buying and selling and trafficking of innocent children.

This bill, International Megan's Law, would mandate reporting requirements for convicted sex traffickers trying to engage in international travel, and prevent entry into the U.S. by any foreign sex offender against a minor. There are convicted sex traffickers trying to engage in international travel, and preventing entry into the U.S. by any foreign sex offender against a minor. This bill could make a real difference in the fight against the buying and selling and trafficking of innocent children. In the U.S. and around the world, thousands of pimps, traffickers, and child molesters are treating our kids like objects to be used and discarded. This bill will send a loud and unambiguous message to those who believe they can buy, sell, and abuse our children with impunity: never again.

For more information and to express your support of International Megan's Law, click here: Help Stop Child Sex Traffiking

I may never get to wear this shirt-jacket again!

Alex has been using it as a bed ever since it's been hanging on that chair.

How 'bout dem Yanks!

The World Series is tied!

I love KATZ

Please?

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How 'Bout Dem Phillies!

2009-10-29T03:35:00.008-04:00

The fact is the Phils won this game -- and the Yankees didn't lose it. Cliff Lee just dominated. ~ mstinger55 at ESPN.com

The fact is that I am not the baseball fan that I once was. When I was a kid, I'd visit my Uncle Frank (Frankie Joe to me) and Aunt Alma (Abba to me) on most weekends. saturdays during baseball season would find me in their living room watch baseball on TV, as Dizzy Dean and Pee Wee Reese called the game.

Usually I'd fall asleep during a game (score: 0-0) and awaken in a later inning (score 8-7) after all of the action had taken place. That rather affirmed what my ex-wife said when we lived in St. Louis and went to see the Cardinals play baseball: "Baseball is a game that packs ten minutes of action into two hours."

Through the years I seem to have watched less and less baseball (and more and more football). The exception is always the World Series. I always watch the world series. So, tonight found me watching Game 1 of the 2009 Series and a stellar performance by Philadelphia pitcher Cliff Lee. I didn't even fall asleep during the game!

Tomorrow night I'll be watching Game 2 of the series. I may not write any more blogs about it (unless there is another such grand performance), but I'll be watching.

Too Bad It's Monday (Jokes & Humor & KATZ)

2009-10-26T00:01:00.004-04:00

My Mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."
My Mother taught me MEDICINE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."
My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"
My Mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"
My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"
My Mother taught me HUMOR... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.
My mother taught me about GENETICS... "You are just like your father!"
My mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home."
My mother taught me about RECEIVING... "You are going to get it when we get home."
And my all time favorite thing- JUSTICE... "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like."
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE... "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION... "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL... "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

Jeff: I had grandparents that were well into their 80s and still were having fun.

Walter: Their 80s? The hell kind of sex is that? 'Was it good for you?' 'I don't remember'. 'It was three minutes ago!', 'Who are you?!?'.

Walter: My wife and I heard that coffee is good for your sex life.

Jeff Dunham: Oh, and is it?

Walter: No. It kept me awake for the whole damn thing. I actually had to
participate

Jeff Dunham: Sometimes [my wife] calls me the 'the Hurricane'.

Walter: The what??

Jeff Dunham: The Hurricane.

Walter: Oh yeah, I get it. Exciting at first, then it ends in disaster. You know, maybe she should call you FEMA. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.

Walter: I could get a real job.

Jeff Dunham: What would you do?

Walter: I want to be a greeter at Wal-mart.

Jeff Dunham: Wal-mart, huh? What would be your opening line?

Walter: 'Welcome to Wal-mart. Get your s**t and get out. Have a nice day'.

KATZ

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Little Things

2009-10-24T13:00:00.014-04:00

Little things
Like a toy
Can give you
Joy

Little things
Like a germ
Can make you
Squirm

~ written by Sometimes Saintly Nick when in the 4th grade

This past week I have again discovered, as I must have when a 4th grader, that little things generally come to our attention when they make more than a little impact on our lives. For example:

This month my pantry became emptier than it has been in a very long time. There was very little in it, so I was able to see little things I had not noticed

I really enjoy Farina hot cereal, but had not eaten any in years, until a couple of weeks ago when I noticed this box in the back of my almost empty pantry. I have now emptied the box.

If I had money, I would have order a pizza for delivery. With no money, I created this meal from NutriSytem stuff. It satisfied me, but I really would have preferred a real pizza.

Thankfully I obtained my flu shot on Wednesday. Just a little pick that I hardly noticed…until my injected arm be again to ache, along with my joints and my head.

Speaking of those little, microscopic viruses that cause the flu, Kentucky has experienced its 10th H1N1 fatality and more are expected. So I am over-joyed that President Obama has proclaimed the H1N1 pandemic a National Emergency.

It’s just a little wine and a little bread, but partaking of the Eucharist is infinitesimal joy. I am aware that private Communion is frowned upon by most Christian denominations; however, I am alone, not yet healthy enough to worship in community, and I so missed the joy that I officiated the service and consecrated the elements for myself.

Actually, I suppose I was not alone. I really don’t believe that the God I know and serve would object to Alex being on the “table.”

I received the above little postcard on Thursday and, as promised, my cable TV reception disappeared on Friday. So, I followed the 3-step instructions on the back of the postcard and, sure enough, the reception came back… for about 3 minutes.

Six times I have repeated the 3-step instructions on the back of that postcard and six times I have had the same results: reception for about 3 minutes, then just static…lots of noisy static. It appears I must make another telephone call.

The following isn’t a little thing, it very big and hugely important:

Speak Softly with Authority While Breathing in Peace & Breathing Out Love

2009-10-21T14:40:00.007-04:00

You have the gift of gab today and everywhere you turn, the words continue to slip out. You are at your best when you are talking about your recent experiences, yet this isn't a time to rest on past achievements. Throw caution to the wind and open your mind as wide as possible before acknowledging that you can do anything you want.

The above was my horoscope yesterday. Do I believe in horoscopes? Well, uh, no, I don't. Do I trust horoscopes? Of course not. Then why do I read horoscopes? Well, uh...let me tell you a story, which you may already know if you read Nick's Bytes post on Monday:

An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find that over his desk a horseshoe was nailed to the wall.

The American said with a nervous laugh, "Surely you don't believe that horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?"

Bohr chuckled. "I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not!"

So... even though I don't believe in horoscopes, I took that part about the gift of gab and decided to spend the day using my voice to solve some of the varied pickles that I seem to have recently found myself in. So.... I spent six hours on the phone with the following results:

My bank ended future $35 overdraft charges & refunded $43 from the last $105 of charges.
Direct-TV agreed to refund of the mistaken charge they took from account that led to that $105.00 overdraft charge. However, they refused to refund it to my VISA/debit card account and are issuing a check which they say won't reach me for 3-4 weeks.
After 3 phone calls (to India, I think) I convinced Salliemae to allow ME to control payments on my 22-year-old seminary student loan rather than their computer.
With the refunded $43 I was able to pay the $5 Medicare co-pay for a critical Rx that I have been out of for over a week

I am telling you this not to boast of my success, but to explain how I was able to do it. For all of my gift of gab, I have difficulty dealing with the minions of huge, capitalist corporations.I usually end up feeling as if I am (1) being talked down to, (2) discounted, and (3) treated as a thing rather than a human being. I also often feel oppressed, with all of the powerlessness that goes with oppression.

Phrases like the computer won't allow that, it is our policy, and that is not our problem usually have me seeing red and triggering in me the fight or flight response.

Yesterday I decided not to be manipulated. Thus, during each phone call I not only dialogued with the agent and presented my case, but I also paid attention to my breathing. With each in breath I thought Peace in; with each out breath I thought Love out.

It worked. It worked well. I did not feel intimidated to the point of giving up and running. I only came once close to forsaking peace for a yelling match. That was with the very nasty and inflexible woman at Direct-TV who was unable to say anything that wasn't in her script-book. So, I asked to speak to her supervisor, to which she replied (probably from the script) that the waiting time to speak with a supervisor was at least 45 minutes. Frustrated and close to losing my cool, I said to the woman, No, thank you. I promise you that I will, however, tell my blog readers of our conversation, mentioning, of course, Direct-TV. I just kept my promise.

Blessings, peace, and love to you, my friends.

Too Bad It's Monday (Jokes & Humor & KATZ)

2009-10-19T00:47:00.001-04:00

"All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others." Henry Youngman
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'." Rita Rudner
"This guy says, 'I'm perfect for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.' I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?'" Judy Tenuta
"Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks." Jean Kerr
"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison." Tim Allen
"I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags." Gwyneth Paltrow

An old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She spends weeks staring at the cage and, eventually, catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn't get them mixed up again, she puts a little white collar around the male parrot's neck.

Later, the local priest visits the old lady. The male parrot takes one look at the father's collar and says, "I see she caught you at it, too."

Jim and Bob are golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine and climbs down in search of it.

Jim spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

Jim calls out to Bob in an agitated voice, "Hey Bob, I got trouble down here."

Bob calls out, "What's the matter Jim?"

Jim shouts back, "Throw me my 7-iron. You can't get out of here with an 8-iron."

KATZ

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More Mishmash

2009-10-17T00:01:00.002-04:00

Play is the work of children. It's very serious stuff. ~ Bob Keeshan

ALEX

Alex again has allergic dermatitis, this time the hair on his tail and kitty cat butt have fallen out. No, I did not take any pictures of his tail and butt to share: that would be an embarassment for Alex.

We went to the vet yesterday (Friday). She diagnosed the hair loss as allergic dermatitis. Alex was not happy about the trip or the two shots he received. Dr. Caryl said that if Alex has not improved in a week, to bring him back. I pray the little fellow heals fast.

Alex has found a new nesting/napping spot: the bottom shelf of our kitchen cupboard. The first time I discovered that he was there, my caregiver had shut (and locked ) the door. I look all over the house for the furball! Then I opened the cupboard doors and there he was--napping. He wasn't the least concerned about being locked in. (Of course, when he decided he wanted a meal, that would have changed.

I wondered why my feline friend selected that new spot. Then I realized that the cupboard is dark, quiet, and warm (it's right next to the furnace floor register). It seems that Alex has a knack for finding the warmest places in this house.

BLOGS

I have been considering adding another blog to my publishing portfolio, a blog composed of old and new photos plus graphics that I have created through the years.

What do you think of the idea?

I also am thinking about deleting Nick's Splendid Blog Roll, the blog that I set up just to list my favorite blogs when I couldn't get Nick's Bytes' Excellent Blogs list to function. I've not posted to it in more than two years.

As much as I dislike doing it, I believe that it is time to remove the 23 blogs on my list of Excellent Blogs on Nick's Bytes sidebar that have not published in a year or so. To do so is like saying good-bye to very good friends.

FRIENDSHIP
This is a fabulous video on friendship:

John Brown's Body

2009-10-16T00:01:00.002-04:00

One hundred fifty years ago today, abolitionist John Brown led his small group on men to raid the United States Arsenal located at Harper's Ferry, Virginia (now located in West Virginia).

Brown planned to remove the weapons and ammunition from the arsenal and provide them to slaves in support of an uprising against slavery. It was ill-planned and turned into a fiasco. The first causality of the raid was Hayward Shepherd, an African-American freedman, who confronted the raiders and was shot and killed by them. Thus a freed slave became the first casualty of the raid.

The townspeople of Harper's Ferry took up arms again the raiders, who took shelter in in a small brick building, the engine house. By the end of the day, eight raiders were dead or dying; five others were cut off. Two had escaped across the river, an escape route subsequently blocked by militia.

On the morning of October 17, Brown and the remaining raiders found that they were surrounded by a company of U.S. Marines, under the command of Lt. Col. Robert E. Lee. (Yes, he was that Robert Edward Lee). Lee send A young lieutenant, J.E.B. Stuart (yes, that James Ewell Brown "Jeb" Stuart), under a white flag to inform Brown and his men that, if the raiders surrendered, their lives would be spared.

Brown refused, so the marines stormed the building and all were captured. Brown was tried and found guilty of treason against Virginia (note that he was not charged with treason against the United States). John Brown was hanged at Charleston on December 2, 1859.

The stately, fearless, unrepentant manner in which he comported himself in court and on the gallows made him a martyr in parts of the North. (Historical Times Encyclopedia of the Civil War. Edited by Patricia L. Faust)

A century and a half after these events, John Brown is still remembered. Was he crazy? Was he a prophet? Was he a villain? Was her a hero? Was he a martyr? Why did he not escape when he could? Why did he not surrender and save his own life? I don't have the answers to these questions.

Whereas, Slavery, throughout its entire existence in the United States is none other than a most barbarous, unprovoked, and unjustifiable War of one portion of its citizens upon another portion; the only conditions of which are perpetual imprisonment, and hopeless servitude or absolute extermination; in utter disregard and violation of those eternal and self-evident truths set forth in our Declaration of Independence. ~ John Brown at his trial, 1858

I want you to understand that I respect the rights of the poorest and weakest of colored people, oppressed by the slave system, just as much as I do those of the most wealthy and powerful. That is the idea that has moved me, and that alone. ~ John Brown at his trial, 1858

I, John Brown, am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land will never be purged away but with blood. ~ John Brown's last letter, the day he was hanged. December 2, 1859

I do know that long before I read a biography of John Brown, I knew and sang this song about him:

John Brown's body lies a-mouldering in the grave,
John Brown's body lies a-mouldering in the grave,
But his soul goes marching on.

Chorus:
Glory, glory, hallelujah,
Glory, glory, hallelujah,
His soul goes marching on.

He's gone to be a soldier in the Army of the Lord,
He's gone to be a soldier in the Army of the Lord,
His soul goes marching on.
Chorus:

John Brown's knapsack is strapped upon his back,
John Brown's knapsack is strapped upon his back,
His soul goes marching on.
Chorus:

John Brown died that the slaves might be free,
John Brown died that the slaves might be free,
His soul goes marching on.
Chorus:

The stars above in Heaven now are looking kindly down,
The stars above in Heaven now are looking kindly down,
His soul goes marching on.
Chorus:

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My bank ended future $35 overdraft charges & refunded $43 from the last $105 of charges.

Direct-TV agreed to refund of the mistaken charge they took from account that led to that $105.00 overdraft charge. However, they refused to refund it to my VISA/debit card account and are issuing a check which they say won't reach me for 3-4 weeks.

After 3 phone calls (to India, I think) I convinced Salliemae to allow ME to control payments on my 22-year-old seminary student loan rather than their computer.

With the refunded $43 I was able to pay the $5 Medicare co-pay for a critical Rx that I have been out of for over a week

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John Brown's Body