Nick's Bytes: Too Bad It's Monday + KATZ

Monday, October 27, 2014

Too Bad It's Monday + KATZ

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”

Chris Cross, a tourist in Vienna, is going passed Vienna's Zentralfriedhof graveyard on October 31st. All of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. Chris finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades Tim Burr, a friend, to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing."

Nora Bone was delivering a new plastic skeleton to the doctor's office. As she waited at the main desk Nora was aware that the waiting room full of patients was staring at her. So she smiled and said," I am bringing him in to doctor Henderson."

An old lady said sympathetically, "My dear! Isn't it a bit late for the doctor?"

Halloween Quotes:

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand. ~ Kurt Vonnegut
Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoken to. ~ Richard H. Barham
Where there is no imagination there is no horror. ~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
At first cock-crow the ghosts must go, Back to their quiet graves below. ~ Theodosia Garrison
If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost. ~ Lloyd Douglas
If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day. ~ John A. Wheeler
We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. ~ David Russell

Pumpkin Sayings

Pumpkin pie, if rightly made, is a thing of beauty and a joy - while it lasts.
I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion - Henry David Thoreau
My favourite word is "pumpkin." You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury
To dream of pumpkins is a very bad omen.
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is.
I will keep moving forward, forever forward, towards and endless dream, and a thousand pumpkin lights. - Former President George Bush
I don't know about you but my family would stage a mutiny if I didn't have a pumpkin pie for dessert at Thanksgiving.
Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon.
Homer Simpson gets into the pumpkin business: 'This year I invested in pumpkins. They've been going up the whole month of October and I got a feeling they're going to peak right around January.'