Some days you are the bug...

I have no way to explain yesterday. My mother had surgery on her replacement knee to repair damage done through over-energetic physical therapy after the original surgery. The operation went hell and, if she were younger, she’d probably be home now. As it is, she’ll be hospitalized for about three days and then a week or so in a rehab center. I am most thankful!

I didn’t sleep a wink Sunday night. I don’t know why, but I suspect it has something to do with the new medication I have been prescribed. I finally got up at 4:00 a.m. and was at the hospital shortly before my mother was scheduled for surgery. As my sister, uncle, and I waited for the completion of the operation, I continually fell asleep. My sister suggested that I go home, take a nap, and return later. Good idea, Sis!

I need a CPAP—Continuous Positive Airway Pressure—to sleep because I suffer from sleep apnea. Without the machine, I stop breathing. I had just put on the breathing mask and turned the machine on, when all of the electricity in the house went off. I got up and was stumbling in the darkness toward the fuse box, when I noticed a Louisville Gas & Electric Company car in front of my house. I put on a pair of pants and went onto the front porch just as the car pulled away from the curb.

What happened? Did I forget to pay my utilities’ bill? I didn’t think so. Besides, I knew that a new bill had arrived in Saturday’s mail. I retrieved the envelope and opened it: nothing was shown as past due and the current billing amount wasn’t due until October 10th.

So here I was, exhausted from lack of sleep and unable to sleep without power to operate the CPAP, stressed by my mother’s surgery, and perplexed by the incongruity of the billing statement and the power shut-off. I attempted to find a telephone number for Louisville Gas & Electric on the bill so I could telephone and inquire of the company what the hell was going on. I couldn’t find one; besides which, I suddenly realized that, without power, none of my telephones would work! That’s a real problem with modern technology and conveniences like cordless phones—a major inconvenience when one has no electricity.

It was so dark inside my limited-widow shotgun house that I couldn’t find a flashlight to search for my cell phone. So I drove downtown to the Louisville Gas & Electric Company’s main office. There I received an explanation that I can’t explain because I do not understand what the woman said. (I appreciate that for one who has earned two master’s degrees to say he does not “understand what the woman said” sounds absurd, but it is the only way I can say it).

My discourses with three Louisville Gas & Electric Company employees ended in my paying the bill due on October 4th on September 26th and being told that my utilities would be turned back on “in a day or so” for the charge of an additional $45.00. Even my pleading that I could not sleep without the CPAP got no response, so I accepted what I couldn’t change and, now even more exhausted, returned to the hospital. There I learned from my uncle that my mother was out of surgery and that the operation went well. After talking to my sister and saying a prayer of gratitude for my mother’s successful surgery, I left the hospital to run an errand for my mother. I went to the post office and had her mail delivery stopped until she returns home.

It had been a hectic day and I looked forward to getting some sleep. However, first I had to run a couple of errands for myself. All went well until I backed out of a parking place at a local shopping center and heard a crunch. I got out of my car and found that the rear-mounted tired on my CR-V had bumped and broken the turn-signal cover of the car parked behind me. I left my car where I had stopped and went back into the store I had just exited. I spoke to the manager, who agreed to telephone the police and search for the owner of the car.

About ten minutes later a police car arrived just as the car’s owner came out of the store. I gave the police officer my license and proof of auto insurance. He began writing the report as the owner of the car I had hit and I surveyed the damage of his car. This car’s owner, who turned out to be one of the balloon pilots who had his balloon at the balloon glow I had attended on Saturday, looked at the damage and suggested that I just locate a replacement turn-signal cover for him and we’d consider the incident closed. The policed officer said that was a great idea. We all shook hands and departed. And I went to sleep—finally!

The saying is true and should be believed: Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. Yesterday I was the bug and I am so very glad that yesterday is over!