Thursday, February 09, 2006

Alone on Saint Valentine’s Day

In my thinking about blog posts for this month of February, I had seriously considered writing exclusively about love. However, as the quotation by Ursula K. LeGuin at the top of my blog states, I had no idea what was coming. Thus, much of what I have written has to do with lunacy, protests, prejudice, evil, and Blogger screw-ups. There isn’t much love in any of those subjects.

I suppose I am the kind of person who ought to be always in love. Perhaps I am overly romantic. Maybe that’s because I was born of February 14th—Saint Valentine’s Day. I really don’t know. I do know that although I am in love at the present moment, I am also alone: the woman I love just happens to be in love with another man.

And I really don’t like not being in a romantic relationship, especially as my birthday approaches. I am certain I am not alone in that feeling. I have heard many people say that they “hate” to be alone on Valentine’s Day. For example, another blogger posted these words not long ago:

I need a man
I hate Valentines Day
enough said

And I responded:

I need a woman.
Valentine’s Day is my birthday.
I hate being alone on my birthday.
Enough said.

There is so much hype and advertising leading up to Valentine’s Day that those of us not in a mutually loving relationship can feel left out. It is as if everyone in the world except me will spend February 14th with a lover. That hurts, especially when February 14th is one’s birthday.

Enough said.


  1. Haha nick, yo in a terribly introspective and downbeat mood, eh?
    Let the advertisers and marketers go to hell and hang themselves, for all i care. Nobody need tell us what to love and how to love. Do we need to do it with flowers, or cards or an expensive ring?

    And does everyone need a member of the opposite sex to feel fulfilled and loved and cared? Why not love life every moment, love yourself for being alive and experiencing this life, love nature, love the freshness that every day adds to one's life.....

    Cheer up. And yeah, great posts of late.

  2. well, it's a good idea to love life, etc., but sometimes you want something a little more tangible. And when you're birthday's on 2/14, I imagine all the hoopla makes it that much more of a thing....
    Anyway, I hope you have a happy birthday. I wish you weren't in love with someone who's in love with someone else. How come life is sometimes so much like a bad cheesy novel??
    Keep yer chin up!

  3. I will come over and wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY. See you Tuesday Nick. Keep smiling.


  4. I hate the way Valentine's is marketed. It makes single people feel lonely, and coupled people feel obligated.

    People who hate Christmas have Festivus. Those of us who hate Valentine's Day need our own holiday, too.

  5. Happy Birthday on the day of love, Nick. I have faith that you will find love one day. You are an incredible man who deserves to be loved by a woman who appreciates that. Enough said!
    BTW-I hate Valentine's Day for the specific reason that it has gotten way too materialistic. Here's a news flash: I'm a woman, and I don't need or want diamonds or expensive jewelry from my husband to tell me how much he loves me. All I want is some quality time with him feeling like I'm the center of his existence.

  6. And, Thomas, I love Festivus. Yea for Seinfeld!!!! :-D

  7. for enough said...
    I hope my newest poem made you smile a little at least.
    I'm officially the anti-valentine Queen. Join me please ;)You can be king for a day. Heh
    Who says we need a significant other to make us happy
    Damn you Valentine
    Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
    Prayers that it will be a good one coming your way

  8. Come on, you know that Valentine's day is just an excuse to sell more chocolate and pink stuff in stores, right? i mean, yeah it's hard not to buy into the hype (as its omnipresence tends to wear on some people) but it doesn't mean it's a hopeless situation. And while I try not to preach the whole "misery loves company" catchphrase too much, it certainly is worth noting that it isn't just you who has no official Valentine, so cheer up! I hope you have a fun birthday.

  9. When my ex and I had been divorced for a bit, and I still lived in Grand Rapids, his girlfriend and I got along really well. I was single, and he was working. We went out together on Valentines day. He broke it off with her soon after- or she did with him, more likely. She was great!

  10. Vishwa—Yes, I will not let the hoopla surrounding Valentine’s Day affect me. I can live in solitude as I have for the past 9 years. Yet, the idea of being alone on my birthday, be it Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year, still disheartens me.

    Jay Are—You are so right: the hoopla that takes place on my birthday is OK if I have someone to whom I can give a dozen roses. I thought until a few days ago that I had that someone; but she has been pulling away from me and it is obvious that she “loves” a younger and thinner “dude.” That me that I expect she’ll not be around to celebrate my birthday with me.

    I feel that life is always like a like a bad cheesy novel—or a soap opera!

    JD’s Rose—I would truly appreciate you coming over and wishing me a happy birthday on February 14th! However, the “coming over” would be one hell of a long trip!

    Thomas—Those who make money of Valentine’s Day aim their advertising at people who are in relationships. Those of us who are not—especially those of us who have just ended one—can feel very sad who exposed to all of the joyous celebrating.

    Punkmom—Thank you for your neat words. I appreciate them greatly. I agree that Valentine’s Day is too materialistic and money-oriented. It seems that “loved” is reduced to gifts of flowers and candy and the giving of greeting cards.

    Crazynik—Yes, your newest poem did give me a smile and more. Thank you. I am very willing to be Valentine’s Day king with you as the queen. Just as long as I don’t have to be Saint Valentine, because February 14 is supposed the anniversary of his being beheaded. (I suppose some people do loose their heads on Valentine’s Day). I shall do my best to really celebrate my birthday, even if I have to do it alone.

    Sheeesh—Yeah, I know Valentine’s Day is an excuse for merchants to sell stuff. My ex-wife managed a Hallmark store! I shall celebrate my birthday somehow—with or without a party!

    Lawbrat—That sounds wonderful. Unfortunately, I don’t get along with the dude that the woman I love now lives with. He is a drug pusher and is supplying her with drugs. I have fantasized about his moving into a jail cell, however.

  11. You'll have a happy birthday. I know you will!

  12. Do we really need some one to tell us when to fall in love when to celebrate it.
    There are so many little things people have to done throughout the year for me.I feel blessed.
    I know the feeling sucks,especially when I know I am getting non of that candy or a red balloon while I pass by the mall.Offically I have never been asked by a guy on Valentine's.It doesnt bother me.
    Some thing wrong with me?

  13. Don't hassle about it, Nick. She'll always come back to you.


  15. If you don't want to be alone, then don't be alone. There is someone who will celebrate your birthday with you.

  16. For years I've taken or sent something special to my best friend, who is single, on Valentines Day. I know it's not the same as getting something from a boyfriend, but I wanted her to know that someone cared. That she is loved.

    Now that I'm married, my feelings about Valentine's Day have changed. Oh, it's still a fine holiday and all, but it's almost a little duty driven. My husband always gets me something, and I appreciate that. But the times when he brings me home flowers on just an ordinary day - that's when my heart sings.

  17. Well I hope you do have a great birthday... Make it YOUR day not a valentines day..

    Personally I think valentines day is over rated. Its just another day....and as a woman I think too many of us have too high an expectation of what it means when we do have a mate and end up getting disappointed.

  18. Abby—Thank you, I shall do my best!

    Educatedunemployed—I have never needed anyone to tell me with whom to fall in love! I may have needed someone to tell me with whom to fall in love, since I seem to keep falling in love with women who for one reason or another never fall in love with me. Yes, I, too, am blessed by the many things people have done for me through the year—years, Yet, there are many kinds of “love” and it is the romantic love celebrated at Valentine’s Day that I encounter on my birthday. It has been many years since I have celebrated my birthday with a woman with whom I am in love.

    Azsonofagun—Yes, she always has, Yet I wonder if it is because she loves me or because I love her so much.

    Chica—Yes, Tiffany, I know. She is so narcissistic that she is unable to love anyone besides herself. Still, I do love her.

    Mike—Yes, she told me the same thing tonight.

    Aweebitheavy—Thanks for visiting my blog. If you really aren’t doing anything on Valentine’s Day, contact me!

    Sonson—It’s great to hear from you! I suppose I do need some encouragement that I am loved. I know God loves me—and my family loves me—yet, I love this woman so much… Hey! That’s old stuff, isn’t it? She doesn’t love me and I can’t force her to love me.

    Candy—Thank you for visiting my blog—and for the kind wish.

    Kylee—Thank you; I shall do my best to make February 14th MY day!