Thursday, November 16, 2006

Instead of Sleep

By the perfidious balls of Judas![*] What am I doing awake at 2:00 a.m., especially since I planned a full night’s restful sleep? I thought I did everything right: a warm cup of “Sleepy Time” herbal tea, gentle stretching exercises, deep penetrating rub on my sore left knee, Alex by my bed (in front of the space heater), and I set the environmental machine on “heart beat.” I should have been as comfortable as an eight-month-old fetus in my mommy’s womb!

And suddenly, at 1:50 a.m., BANG! And I am awake. Actually it wasn’t a BANG—it was more like a rumble. A crash of thunder that seemed to be just outside my bedroom window, it was.

I know I have slept through more violent storms. I am certain that I have because I have seen the damage they have done when I have awakened. However, this morning’s storm—which is now passed—somehow got to me.

OK, I’ve written a short blog post. Now what? Maybe I’ll awaken Alex and let him chase me around the house. No, I think I shall return to bed and set the environmental machine to “thunder storm.” Then perhaps—just perhaps—I can get back to sleep. By the quiescent balls of the sleeping Apostles!*

[*] If you haven’t read Trevanian’s book, Shibumi, by the blue balls of Saint Joseph, you really ought to!


  1. I could get past the perfidious balls of Judas cause I was laughing hysterically :)


  2. "the perfidious balls of Judas" - LMFAO!!

    I too was awake at 2 a.m. Actually, I was dead tired (probably due to vicodin) at 8:50, but I awoke at midnight and didn't go back to bed until 3. My
    Aleks was quite happy about it, as he demonstrated with his stretch dance and my reward for said stretch dance by petting him and brushing him and telling him that he's the cutest baby Czarist in the world.

    Maybe we spell their names differently, but you and I are both totally owned by someone named Alex/Aleks ;)

    I hope you got some sleep! btw, I'm soooo glad you're back to blogging. It's the karma, man. When a fellow blogger is well, then the bad things that happen in my life aren't so bad :)

  3. FUNNY! Not your being awake, but the "balls" stuff. If they come from the book shibumi I must read it.


  4. I read Shihumi many years ago. It's a great read.

    I assume you slept the rest of the night?

  5. The Blue Balls of St. Joseph may very well become my new favorite phrase.

  6. I wouldn't have to wake up my cat at 2:00 in the morning. She keeps vampire hours; up all night, sleep all day.

  7. Sorry you missed out on your sleep. I hope tonight is better for you. :)

  8. Isn't that funny how sometimes we can sleep through anything and others the slightest disruption wakes us for the day...

    I hope you had a good day.

  9. I hear you, my buddy! I hope you got back to sleep and got plenty of rest. Maybe I need to buy one of those environmental machines. Does it help much?

  10. Let me know next time you are awake at 2am.... I feel like I am always awake at the moment!

  11. By the ball-less vagina of the Virgin Mary, this is a superb post! I read the book, too.