Superbowl Thoughts + the Best Jokes in My Last Weeks's Email

My Vote for the Best Superbowl 2007 Commercial

Alex and I watched Superbowl XLI wrapped in a blanket. It was cold here in Louisville: 20 F with a low forecast as 6 F before the sun rises on Monday. Even with the rain falling steadily on those playing in and watching the Superbowl in Miami, I envied their "warmth."

I saw the I watched the Superbowl with Alex. That isn't quite true. Alex spent most of the game curled up on my chest, beneath the blanket. At one point he crawled from beneath the blanket and sauntered to the front door, as if he wanted to go outside. There was a constant stream of cold air coming from beneath the door and Alex backed away from the threshold even before I opened the door. I suppose the cat decided it was better for forego his usual evening catting around tonight. That means that I checked and cleaned the litter box of the cat who owns me before I retired.

The batch of high tech and high cost Superbowl commercials this year didn't seem to me to be as good as some previous years. The Coca-Cola commercial (above) did impress me both in technology and content.

The Superbowl itself? It was wild, expecially with the added factor of the rain. It was one Superbowl when I was almost evenly pulling for both teams. I have been a Bears fan since the days of Mike Ditka and William "The Refrigerator" Perry. I have been a Colts fan since they played out of Baltimore and were quarterbacked by ex-Louisvllle Cardinal Johnny Unitas, who in my estimation may have been the best quarterback of all time. Now they the Colts play in Indianapolis, just a 100 miles up Interstate 65 from Louisville, I gave them a slight edge as my favorite in Superbowl XLI. I celebrate the Colts win, but the celebration is not at the expense of the Bears. Both teams played better I that I would have expected considering the intense rain and slippery field. It was really a good show. (I'll not comment on the half-time show; neither Alex nor I watched it).

The Best Jokes in My Last Weeks' Email

OK, enough about the Superbowl. Here are the best jokes I received in my (limited) email last week:

Top Complaints from and about NFL (National Football League) Referees

1. After shooting the blank gun to end the half, the Dallas Cowboy players start shooting back with live ammunition.

2. Calling "heads or tails" but never getting any. . . "head" or "tail".

3. Players get "the wave". . . refs get "the finger".

4. Anyone who makes a call against the Detroit Lions risks pissing off their last remaining fan.

5.

6. Just when we thought it was safe to be an NFL Ref, we have to go back to frickin' CLEVELAND!!!

7. Thanks to instant replay, picking nose during a game is twice as risky.

8. Everyone else gets to wear their Autumn colors, but for me it's black and white week after week after week!

9. Don King only bribes boxing judges.

10. (from players) Official rule books for referees not made in Braille.


A Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because he decided the horse was a real night mare.

Insurance form question and answer about a recent accident:

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: I could have traveled by bus.

A man collided with a cow and completed the requested form as follows:

Q: What warning did you give the other party before the collision?
A: Horn

Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo


A blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a dee

p and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her.

"How can I get to the other side of the river?" she shouts loudly.

The other blonde replied, "What for? You are already on the other side of the river!"


"You ought to feel highly honored," said the businessman to the life insurance agent, "so far today I have had my secretary turn away seven insurance agents."

"Yes, I know," replied the agent, "I'm them."

"I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money."

"Why do you say that?"

"Listen to this from his bill: 'For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25'."

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries."

The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"


At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, "Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this."

"The truth is," replied the politician, "that she has a big mouth."


The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000."

Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000."

Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge."

He sat down, and an larger chunk of plaster fell hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!"

This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"