AMAZON

Monday, June 25, 2007

Too Bad It's Monday (TBIM) Jokes

In the spring of 2005, shortly after I began blogging, I began posting the jokes I had received in my previous week’s email under the title Too Bad Its Monday (T.B.I.M.) as the reverse of T.G.I.F. (Thank God Its Friday). So again I am going to share with you what I consider to be the best of the humor I have received in the past week. You may not agree with all of my choices, but if even one joke brings you a smile on T.B.I.M., my goal has been achieved.


Three male rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.

"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.

"I'm gonna go back to those cute little bunnies," says the second.

"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I just gotta have a cigarette."


What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?

The leech stops sucking your blood after you're drained and dead .


A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son

Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Ma

How to tell if your feet stink.



17 comments:

  1. Hi Nick ~~ Great redneck mother's letter, and I liked that brave (or crazy) cat !!
    Thanks for your comments, glad you liked the meaning of peace and like you, I don't know what the weather has in store for us next. We just take what comes and wonder about it. Take care, Regards, Merle.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ewwww on the stock cut-out. But the letter had me rolling.

    Thanks. I needed that.

    -N

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love cat jokes and picture cat jokes even more. Thanks for getting my morning off to a purring start.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love the final exam for the police dogs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, Smoke-Like-A-Chimney-Nick: Do you identify with that rabbit who wants to go back to the lab?

    No, I'm not a health Nazi and I would probably go with you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ha. love those hillbilly overalls. unfortunately, i think I could have got a pair for my dad for fathers day ;)
    xx
    pinks

    ReplyDelete
  7. Those must be some pretty stinky shoes to knock out a cat. They just love the stink. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. ` Ah, thanks for the humor. I needed that.

    ReplyDelete
  9. These are hilarious, except for the Paris Hilton carton which is sad.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I like the photo for the Psalm. Those are some very well behaved dogs!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hahaha...loved the Redneck letter. Can't say the same about the overalls, though. What a horrible sight!

    That poor cat...serves him right for sticking his head into stinky shoes...and that other brave kitten...just as well those dogs are well trained. Very apt Bible verse!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi again Nick ~~ Glad you liked the Grandma post and I am sorry you lost both your grandmothers so early in your life. Good for the older aunts
    to fill that position. Take care,
    and stay well. Regards, Merle.

    ReplyDelete
  13. These are still funny on Wednesday.

    ReplyDelete
  14. yep, they are STILL funny on wednesday! i look forward to joke monday every week (even if i don't get here on monday). i may repost the redneck letter on my family's blog..since they're rednecks, they should like a little light reading.

    thanks for visiting my blog and the comment.......hope things improve for both of us!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love the hillbilly overalls ... they'd be interesting as maternity overalls, too LOL
    Take care, Meow

    ReplyDelete