I am sitting at my desk,
shaking. Earlier today I was cuddling with Alex—and crying. My life since early
December has been a nightmare: continued illness (constant pain in my left leg),
no caregiver (because Congress cut VA funding for the program), financial
stress (I do not have enough money for more than 3 weeks food), and loneliness (I
am rejected by my sons, not even allowed to visit my grandchildren) have more
than taken their toll on my life.
Now, with this so-called sequester happening tomorrow and the risk
of losing my Social Security income, Medicare and Veterans Administration
healthcare, the recurring depression I have been fighting since early December
has gotten to the point where I was again considering suicide.
Of course, I shall not take my own life; I should worry
about what would happen to my wonderful Kitty kids if I were not here. Still, I
don’t know how I can continue living as I am.
There is so much that I must
to do that I am unable to do: I lack the energy to remain awake for more than
six or so hours a day; a walk of 10 feet leaves me winded and fatigued. Besides
sleeping most of the time, I shed a lot of tears for no apparent reason, which
hampers my capacity to deal with issues.
The rage and panic I have
regarding the greedy and egocentric right wing politicians in league with the
corporations and plutocrats in this land, drives me toward wanting to work
toward guaranteeing that those selfish Republicans in the House of
Representatives are not reelected. I
do not know what I can do other than write: I have no money or the mobility to
be fully engaged in politics. However, I shall do what I can.
For too long I have
limited Nick’s Bytes to the posting
of humor—and need to laugh as I believes millions of others also do. I shall
return to posting about justice and peace as I once did. May God guide me in
doing this holy work!
Below are a few of the numerous graphics
that I have created in recent years. If you have any of them useful in fighting for justice, please use them.
dear Nick, sleeping, crying, lack of energy are all all a symtom of depression. The anger, rage and panic you feel is, as you well know, the expression of the feeling of being unable to do something about your own situation regarding your sons and the rest of the family and the money problems. I cannot give you any good advise on how to live at the moment, but i do think you need to go back to basics. Rest, meditate, kittycats, rest again, pray. I will be thinking of you, Elka
ReplyDeleteNick, believe me, I know how you feel and I have been as low very recently. Together we will fight them. Hold on, dear Nick. xx
ReplyDeleteNick......So sorry and sad to know about your condition....
ReplyDeleteWas thinking if I could be of any help and then thought, maybe I could make a small monetary contribution. Donno how much it will be of help to ease your burden. If you have a paypal account or any widget on your blog where I can contribute, please let me know here, in the comments.
Was also thinking of writing a small post on my blog, asking the readers and my friends on facebook to also make some contributions----if that is ok for you. Pls confirm me on this and I'll write on my blog.
You're in my prayers, friend. God bless!
Vishwa, my dear friend! It has been much too long since I have seen you or visited you blog. I must set aside time to visit the blogs of all of my dear friends with whom I have lost contact.
ReplyDeleteThank you for suggesting Pay Pal. I once had an account years ago; however, in my present financial condition, I believed that Pay Pal would not grant me a new one. However, I was wrong! I just established a new account under my email: nicholas.temple@gmail.com.
Finally, and most important, thank you for your prayers. I feel greatly in need of all of the prayers people will offer for me.
Nick....I've mailed you about the post i want to write... on nicholas.temple@gmail.com Kindly respond.
ReplyDeleteI just read this a few minutes ago, located your email, and sent a response. Sorry for the delay.
Delete