When I made my daily trip to the pharmacy last night, the clerk who runs the cosmetics counter asked me where my “friend” was. I suppose I was in a down mood because I told the clerk about my friend’s methamphetamine addiction, which in retrospect I believe that I should not have done.
However, I think it turned out OK. The clerk said she, too, was a social worker by training and in her personal life had attempted to “rescue” three significate others who were addicts. Each attempt failed and she paid a high price for her own involvement in their lives.
We talked a long time about rescuing and co-dependency. We also decided to have lunch together and determine in mutual suppose might benefit both of us. She also suggested that she and I could attend a co-dependency support group together.
This idea of mutual appears to be important for me at the moment: I am growing more and more concerned about my friend. It has now been amost a week since I confronted her about her addiction to methamphetamines and I haven’t heard from her. I continue my decision not to make contact with her. We have “split up” numerous times before, but this is the longest period without contact in the past 4 months. Of course, this is also the first time she had her drug pusher move in with her.
The clerk and I ended our conversation with my telling her the parable of the dragon slaying knight. She understood it as I do and that said she, like me, truly identifies with the knight.
Two words: drugs suck.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have to go through this. I've been reading your blog for months and I know how much you love her. Stick to your decision; "though love" is the only way you can really love her.
ReplyDeleteThomas: Thank you. I really do need someone at hand who understands what I am going through. Perhaps this woman is the one.
ReplyDeleteYes, addiction does harm a lot of people well beyond the addict. I once read that one alcoholic can negatively influence the lives of a hundred people. I recognized that in my years of working with families. However, I was never as involved as I now am and never hurt as much as I do now. I am relieved that I have the courage to do what I am doing; still, I ache deeply.
Southern Fried Girl: I agree: drugs suck! And these damned methamphetamines seem to suck as much or more as any of them.
Abby: Yes, I love her deeply. And I am concerned that the drugs are the most important things in her life—more important that her children, her sisters and brother, her parents, and the other people who love her.
Support groups are an excellent idea. I got a lot from them while dealing with my nephew's meth problem. My family, however, went to narcotic anonymous and meth anonymous meetings. It was an incredible eye opener and the recovered addicts were a wealth of information. Sorry, I should have suggested or mentioned this to you earlier.
ReplyDeletei hope this lady is nice
ReplyDeleteSonSon: I’m fairly familiar with support groups: my thesis was on them when I was in social work grad school. I just never seem to think of them for myself!
ReplyDeleteJody: Thanks. I don’t know her very well, but perhaps she and I can be friends and help one another.