Blogging has helped with my melancholia. Not so much my writing, but reading the Good Blogs and commenting on them.
Like group therapy, I learn a lot about myself from the words of others. I have also had the opportunity to make comments, which has distracted me from my own feelings of sadness and my desire to undertsand its source.
But most importantly, I have had the opportunity to look outward from my own pain, For example, I happened on a blog I had not previously read: Welcome to the Nut House where I encountered posts on current events that parallel my own views. In reading the posts I realized how much I have been self-centered the past couple of days. And I remembered that one way I have always broken out of periods of depression is to turn my eyes toward the rest of the world. That helps me enormously.
I still feel melancholic—as well as the inability to sleep. However, my perspective is beginning to widen and I hope bring me back to my normal, neurotic state of mind!
Addendum
As Moderator of the Association I participated in the installation of the association's newest pastor. I made it through my parts in the installation OK— thankfully I had 2 of the first 4 parts in the service. But later, during the anthem and the exhortation of the congregation and their new pastor, my tears again began flowing. Maybe--but I don't know for sure--the loss I am feeling was not pastoring a church. Plus, when the offering plate was passed, I had nothing to put in it. My financial situation is worse than it has ever been.
I wish I knew the answer, Nick, but I don't. I understand it because of my own grief for the loss of my father, but I just don't know any answers. Sometimes, it just feels better to have a good cry. I hope you're okay.
ReplyDeleteHi Nick,
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I have thanked you before, but I do want to now for stopping at my blog.
I gather from this post that things aren't quite right..
I hope you get the strength and energy to sort things out for you.
Like I always say, we aren't alone..if they managed so can we..
Cheers
Maybe I need to write a blog? I read a few but I have never thought about writing one.
ReplyDeleteHope you get back to your "normal, neurotic state of mind" soon.
Looking outward can help as long as you do not push your feelings down deeper inside of you. Let then out.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Nick!
ReplyDeleteIt may be that you have found the answer in focusing outside yourself. At least it seems to work for me in that as I strive to meet the needs of others, mine seem to resolve themselves. Just cling tightly to Jesus since He is the only real solution to anything. ec
ReplyDeleteHope you start feeling better. Emotions are so complicated and confusing sometimes and often it's best just to feel them and leave it at that. They can't always be understood or explained.
ReplyDeleteHope the days get better and the ole heart repairs itself.
Mike: I have never determined the source, but as of the moment I feel my melancholia is past.
ReplyDeleteEducatedunemployed: Thanks for visiting my blog. I have been unable to really sort things out, but I have recovered the energy and purpose I need to get on with life.
Abby: I recommend that you do write a blog—and don’t forget to let me know where it is. And, yes, thank you: I have returned to my normal, neurotic state of mind.
T. E.: Thanks for the advice. I don’t think I have pushed my feelings down; of course, without being able to identify their source, I can’t be sure.
Ex-Louisville Guy: I’m hanging in well at the moment. Thanks.
Mr. Eddie: Yes, focusing outside my self has helped. I have been doing Kentuckiana Association business most of today and I really find the accomplishment of getting some things down is invigorating.
Jay Are: I agree. Emotions are complex and perplexing. I am glad that I have given up trying to determine the source of my melancholia and simply let it happen. I feel much better—energized and positive—at the moment.