Somewhere within Me

Forrest Trail by Chris Harris

There are times when the path of life brings us to places where we never expected to travel. I suppose that’s what motivated the psalmist to sing, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. That isn’t exactly where I am walking at the moment; perhaps it would be a less stressful path if that is where I was walking. I believe that I can deal with my death. I am finding it more that difficult to deal with the probable loss of my home and the bleakness of continuing to be unemployed without any source of income.

I was tempted to present my entire situation to you in this post. However, people—especially my relatives, who generally learn about my blog posts second and third hand—chastise me for sharing “too much.” Besides, I have no desire to burden others with my situation.

What I feel I do need is counsel and direction. I find it easy to offer that to others but unfeasible to see with the same clarity the direction I myself need to take. I remember when I felt devastated by the impending end of my thirty year marriage. A parishioner came by the parsonage and said she wanted to talk. She gave me some advice and suggestions for coping. I listened intensely to her words and thanked her for what she said to me. Just before she left she said, “What I told you helped me get through my divorce. The words were the words spoken to me then a wise man—you.”

What I am saying is that I suppose that somewhere within me are the answers I need. I simply do not feel capable or competent to retrieve them.