Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Somewhere within Me

Forrest Trail by Chris Harris

There are times when the path of life brings us to places where we never expected to travel. I suppose that’s what motivated the psalmist to sing, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. That isn’t exactly where I am walking at the moment; perhaps it would be a less stressful path if that is where I was walking. I believe that I can deal with my death. I am finding it more that difficult to deal with the probable loss of my home and the bleakness of continuing to be unemployed without any source of income.

I was tempted to present my entire situation to you in this post. However, people—especially my relatives, who generally learn about my blog posts second and third hand—chastise me for sharing “too much.” Besides, I have no desire to burden others with my situation.

What I feel I do need is counsel and direction. I find it easy to offer that to others but unfeasible to see with the same clarity the direction I myself need to take. I remember when I felt devastated by the impending end of my thirty year marriage. A parishioner came by the parsonage and said she wanted to talk. She gave me some advice and suggestions for coping. I listened intensely to her words and thanked her for what she said to me. Just before she left she said, “What I told you helped me get through my divorce. The words were the words spoken to me then a wise man—you.”

What I am saying is that I suppose that somewhere within me are the answers I need. I simply do not feel capable or competent to retrieve them.


  1. I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. I wish I had some brilliant advice to offer that would make everything better, but I don't; sometimes you just have to muddle through as best you can, and have confidence that things won't always be this way.

  2. Nick, sorry to hear you're having a tough time, especially around the holidays. Just saw a movie called "The Secret". It is about the law of attraction. Bascially, whatever we focus on manifests. so if you focus on lack, lack is what you'll receive. However, if you can begin to be thankful for all you have, more will come. Not sure why it works, but it does. Hope that helps. Praying works too!

  3. Hang in there, Saint Nick. This is your season of the year. Good things are bound to come to you.

  4. Hey Nick,

    Psychology always finds a way for "us" to figure it all out when we're sitting on that big leather couch at the doc's office.

    Counsel and direction isn't a bad thing! As for me, I find myself giving and sharing advice more freely than figuring out what the heck to do about my own life.

    You're in my prayers and thoughts! Hang in there!

  5. My thoughts are with you. It sounds like you are coping with a lot right now. I do believe, however, that we have the stregth to deal with adversity. And there are ovbiously a lot of people who love you and support you. Uou will find the answers.



  6. I hope something comes through for you so you can get enough money to keep your house and have eat. So sorry that it's so hard for you right now.

  7. :(

    I don't know what kind of advice to offer except to pray & hope...

    Please don't be upset with this question- I am not trying to be a budinsky, but I certainly don't know the entire situation...

    Is it possible for you to live with one of your sons? Or, is there someone in your congregation who has a room & could use your assistance around their place & with errands, etc?

    Please forgive- I really don't know what would be involved, but you are an intelligent man, & there certainly must be some person &/or agency that can help you with your next "adventure." The best advice I ever took was from a person who said that when things do not go as planned, subtract emotion such as worry purposefully from yourself- set it aside. Then start from square one & go through the proper steps to a solution. I would tell you the story that this advice helped me get through- when I was pregnant & a deal fell through for a place to live, then another, then another...

    After a good cry, I started from the beginning, & trusted God & took this advice.

    God bless you Nick- you'll get through it!

  8. Saint, are you still sitting Zen zazen? I’ll bet you aren’t. Return to the discipline, Grasshopper, and your path will become clear!