Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Too Bad Its Monday Humor and KATZ on Tuesday

Here is a Santa Claus story: Old St. Nick was quite ill. Plus, Rudolph had a severe cold which hampered the reindeer’s ability to guide Santa’s sleigh. And, the elves and organize themselves into a union and were on strike. Add to that, Ms. Claus was suffering from PMS and being especially bitchy. In the midst of all these troubles, an Angel came in to the workshop and asked, “Santa, where do you want me to stick this Christmas tree?” And that, my dear friends, is why we have Angels on top of Christmas trees.

Three businessmen on a plane. First guy says, "That suit looks great on you. You must be a Harvard man."

Second guy says, "Yes, thank you. I did go to Harvard. And with that classy briefcase, I would guess that you went to Yale."

First guy says, "Yes, I am a Yale man." 

They both look at the third guy, and they say, "You must have gone to University of Kentucky.".

Third guy says, "Why yes, I did. How could you tell?" 

"We saw your class ring when you picked your nose."

 It got cold in Minnesota and the nudist camp put out a sign, "We are open but we are clothed".

There was a midget who joined a nudist colony but he was asked to leave because he kept poking his nose into everybody's business.

They found a big hole in the wall around the nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

So the priest wanted to get away from his priesthood for an afternoon and he went to a nudist camp and a beautiful young woman walked up and said, "Hi Father." He said, "How did you know it was me?" She said, "I'm Sister Catherine, remember?"

 Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his studio. The burglar got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower. 

Top 9 Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password

9. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."

8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.

7. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.

6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna.

5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about thier release of "CyberDog."

4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.

3. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.

2. On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.

and the #1 Sign Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password...

1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.  


Below are some really fun (and cheap) gifts 
recommended by Sometimes Saintly Nick 

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