Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Let Me In

A parable of Attar of Nishapur:

The lover knocks at the door of his beloved.

“Who knocks?” asked the voice from behind the door.

“It is I,” said the lover.

“Go away. This house can not hold both you and me.”

Dejected, the lover went into the desert where he meditated for many months upon the words of his beloved. Eventually he returned and knocked at the door again.

“Who knocks?” asked the voice from behind the door.

“It is you.”

The door was immediately opened.

Carl Jung taught that the anima represents the feminine in men; the animus represents the masculine in women. When a man falls in love with a woman, he often projects his own anima upon her. Likewise, when a woman falls in love with a man, she often projects her own animus upon him. Thus, we fall in love with our self.

When we discover that the object of our love is not really who we believed he/she to be—i.e., our self—we may become disillusioned with our lover. Or, we try to remake our lover into the image of our self. Or, we mayaccept our lover as the person she/he really is. And that is true love.

Is it any wonder that love can often be such a complicated—and painful—experience?


  1. I want to say that Jung is wrong, but I know he is right.

  2. We actually had to do premarital counseling based on this premise and read the book Getting the Love you Want. Great post!

  3. Nick, I am not sure how wise you are, but you and Jung make a good team.

  4. Wow...yeah..great post.
    painful, complicated and great, wonderful and special..I hope someday...Thanks

  5. Hello:)
    I checked out both your blogs, and your a very interesting guy:) This post is so true, and why does it have to be so complicated, but it is and we go on:) Take care, Elisa:)

  6. At times it is, hopefully we find someone that we have more uncomplicated and painless experiences. That gets us through the complicated-and painful. Because human relationships will never be without complications and pain. So the good can out weigh the bad, thankfully.

  7. Wow! You just explained something I have thought a lot about.

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