“Truth is powerful and it prevails.” ~ Sojourner Truth

March is Women's History Month. As I thought about what to post in celebration of women in history, I remembered a woman who did not appear in any of me elementary or high school English books. I encountered her first as a character in a play at the University of Kentucky in 1964 when I was  Freshman.

I'll not go into the biography of Sojourner Truth; you can find that in many places on the Internet, including HERE. What I shall do is allow Sojourner Truth to speak for herself -- something she did quite well -- in the same words spoken in that play that introduced her to me 46 years ago.

Please take just a moment to listen as Alice Walker reads Sojourner Truth:

Truth is powerful and it prevails.

Too Bad It's Monday Jokes + MLK Remembrance

When I was five years old, my mom always taught me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life. ~ Elizabeth

 Happy birthday, Dr. King.

 

In the spring of 2005, shortly after I began blogging, I began posting the jokes I had received in my previous week’s email under the title Too Bad It’s Monday (T.B.I.M.) as the reverse of T.G.I.F. (Thank God It’s Friday). So again I am going to share with you what I consider to be the best of the humor I have received in the past week. You may not agree with all of my choices, but if even one joke brings you a smile on T.B.I.M., my goal has been achieved.


Because I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friends' and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on. I went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job but had no luck at the first few. I finally found one where the clerk seemed experienced.

"Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?" I asked.

"Have you tried a wife?" he replied.


A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?"

"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought you to us."

"Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"

"Oh, the stork brought us too."

"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted.

"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by now starting to squirm a little.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

Humor in Music

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."

This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.

A little known fact...

The testicular guard "cup" was first used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.

It only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also worth  protecting.

MOST COMMON LAST WORDS:

I'll get a world record for this.

It's fireproof.

He's probably just hibernating.

I'm making a citizen's arrest.

So, you're a cannibal.

Are you sure the power is off?

Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?

I've seen this done on TV.

These are the good kind of mushrooms.

Let it down slowly.

Rat poison only kills rats.

Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.

It's strong enough for both of us.

This doesn't taste right.

Nice doggie.

I've done this before.

Well, we've made it this far.

That's odd.

Don't be so superstitious.

Hey! Watch this!

KATZ

Fissures

fis·sure

Pronunciation: \ˈfi-shər\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French, from Latin fissura, from fissus

Date: 14th century

1 : a narrow opening or crack of considerable length and depth usually occurring from some breaking or parting
2 a : a natural cleft between body parts or in the substance of an organ b : a break or slit in tissue usually at the junction of skin and mucous membrane
3 : a separation or disagreement in thought or viewpoint : schism s in a political party

The doc came by yesterday and told me that this crack in my skin beneath my right heel that has been painful and making my walking difficult for the past few days is a fissure. It's a crack in my skin just like in geology is fissure is a crack in the earth's crust.

I don't know what it takes to heal a fissure in the earth's crust, but my doc prescribed a salve to apply to the fissure in my heal for two days, which is to be followed by daily applications of petroleum jelly until the dryness goes away, if it ever does. Sounds OK to me except that, do to my obesity, I not only can't see the fissure in my heel, but I can reach it to apply any meds. Of course, I'll have my caregiver apply it tomorrow, but that means that I'll be able to follow the doc's instructions three times a week rather than three times a day.(Sigh)

Another kind of fissure is the kind that ruptured during the recent earthquake in Haiti. From the little I understand of the geologic dynamics of the earthquake, it seems that Tuesday's earthquake along the Enriquillo-Plantain Garden fault only ruptured along very small portion of the fault, creating a roughly 375 mile-long fissure in the earth. That represents only about 10% of the Enriquillo-Plantain Garden fault, which could rupture at any time. Wow! That's frightening to me.

At times as I have watched the destruction and suffering caused by the Haitian earthquake, I have imagined myself as a Haitian victim of quake: home destroyed, separated from family and friends, hungry, thirsty, spending my energy attempting to locate and rescue those victims trapped by the debris of the quake. I have prayed many prayers and shed more than a few tears for the people of Haiti. The quake and fissure that ripped through their island home points out to me how insignificant is the fissure on my heel.

Now is the time for healing these fissures--or, at least in Haiti, healing the people.

Carolyn Winfrey Gillette, a member of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), composed a hymn entitled “In Haiti, there is anguish” with lyrics to be sung to the music of the popular hymn Beneath the Cross of Jesus. I played and sang the hymn yesterday afternoon. If my computer's audio were not still screwed up, I would have shared my guitar rendition with you. However, you are most lucky! With no audio, I'll share the lyrics as I received them in an email yesterday:

The general secretary of the World Alliance of Reformed Churches, Setri Nyomi, today sent the hymn to all of the organization’s member churches with the suggestion it be sung at services this Sunday along with prayers for the people of Haiti.

In his message Nyomi says, “I am sure you too have been stunned by the news of the devastating earthquake in Haiti that we woke up to yesterday.  Haiti has been through so much and our hearts bleed to see them go through yet another major crisis with such a heavy loss of life and so much destruction.” 

The hymn lyrics are reproduced here below:

In Haiti, There is Anguish

ST. CHRISTOPHER  7.6.8.6.8.6.8.6 (“Beneath the Cross of Jesus”)

In Haiti, there is anguish that seems too much to bear;

A land so used to sorrow now knows even more despair.

From city streets, the cries of grief rise up to hills above;

In all the sorrow, pain and death, where are you, God of love?

A woman sifts through rubble, a man has lost his home,

A hungry, orphaned toddler sobs, for she is now alone.

Where are you, Lord, when thousands die—the rich, the poorest poor?

Were you the very first to cry for all that is no more?

O God, you love your children; you hear each lifted prayer!

May all who suffer in that land know you are present there.

In moments of compassion shown, in simple acts of grace,

May those in pain find healing balm, and know your love’s embrace.

Where are you in the anguish?   Lord, may we hear anew

That anywhere your world cries out, you’re there-- and suffering, too.

And may we see, in others’ pain, the cross we’re called to bear;

Send out your church in Jesus’ name to pray, to serve, to share.

Tune:  Frederick Charles Maker, 1881

Text:  Text: Copyright © 2010 by Carolyn Winfrey Gillette.  All rights reserved.  Permission is given for use by those who support Presbyterian Disaster Assistance.