One would think that being within four days of my sixty-first birthday, I would have learned self-care by now. I haven't: I still do self-destructive things.
I awoke this morning about six o'clock feeling great, at least compared to the way I was feeling the past few days. No fever; no stomach upset; no headache; no (major) congestion; and only the normal aches of age.
Alex and I bounded out of bed, we both were fed, and outside Alex fled. I sat at the computer; drank a second cup of coffee; wrote a blog post (before I forgot the haiku) on the words that were in my mind when I awakened; visited a few of the blogs I had not read since I've been ill; telephoned my mother (who was still in her hospital bed but scheduled to return to the rehab center this afternoon); responded with my new resume (I lost the ability to use the several I have previously created when I could no longer use MS Word and Office) to four new employment possibilities from the various Internet sites to which I subscribe-and then it hit me: Headache, fever, stomach upset, joint pains plus my nose began bleeding, a rare occurrence for me! They were all back, almost as disabling as when I first fell ill.
I do this constantly. I over extend myself; I do not allow myself to heal before I get busy. I go from 0 to 90 miles an hour, rushing through the gears as if I were James Bond in the novel Casino Royale. And then I pay for it with a relapse. So I have spent the past three hours back in bed and hopefully (again) learned my lesson. Probably not, you say? You're probably right.
Sigh.
I awoke this morning about six o'clock feeling great, at least compared to the way I was feeling the past few days. No fever; no stomach upset; no headache; no (major) congestion; and only the normal aches of age.
Alex and I bounded out of bed, we both were fed, and outside Alex fled. I sat at the computer; drank a second cup of coffee; wrote a blog post (before I forgot the haiku) on the words that were in my mind when I awakened; visited a few of the blogs I had not read since I've been ill; telephoned my mother (who was still in her hospital bed but scheduled to return to the rehab center this afternoon); responded with my new resume (I lost the ability to use the several I have previously created when I could no longer use MS Word and Office) to four new employment possibilities from the various Internet sites to which I subscribe-and then it hit me: Headache, fever, stomach upset, joint pains plus my nose began bleeding, a rare occurrence for me! They were all back, almost as disabling as when I first fell ill.
I do this constantly. I over extend myself; I do not allow myself to heal before I get busy. I go from 0 to 90 miles an hour, rushing through the gears as if I were James Bond in the novel Casino Royale. And then I pay for it with a relapse. So I have spent the past three hours back in bed and hopefully (again) learned my lesson. Probably not, you say? You're probably right.Sigh.
Nick, I think we all do it to some extent. The trick is "balance". As Americans we have a tendency to push ourselves ALL THE TIME. Other countries and cultures have figured out how to relax, slow down and enjoy life. For some reason we are always pushing. Good study in sociology.
ReplyDeleteI hope you start feeling better soon Nick. Some of the stuff that is going around here is like that though...comes and goes and comes again. You just need a little time and some rest. Happy early birthday, by the way.
ReplyDeleteI think we may be related. My mom does have extended family in Lousiville, or at least had. I'm the same way.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon.
Love to you, my dear friend.
Please, please take care of yourself. You can't be a type A person when you don't let down and be a type b occassionally.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother was just like that. She would get sick, and then the minute that she felt just a bit better she was up trying to do housework and all that stuff and would then have a relapse.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear your still feeling poorly. Best wishes for a quick recovery.
ReplyDeleteMicrosoft has a "reader" for Word available for free download. You can't edit your documents, but you can print them. If that's any help to you, you can get it HERE.
The AbiWord word processor I mentioned earlier is supposed to be Word-compatible, but if you used tables or some advanced features, it sorta gets horked up.
Wonderful Nick! You are amazing as you are. I adore you just from the short time I've been here and guess what? http://openoffice.org does EVERYTHING that Word did but FREE! I love it! Please say you'll look at it - its open source so they'll never charge for it. It even opens MS specific documents and can save them as such too! Please please stay strong dear man. I'm already in love with your furry companion and I think you rock too!
ReplyDeleteUgh- pretend I said "you're" not "your." (That probably bugs me a lot more than it bugs you.)
ReplyDeleteNick, you just summed up the story of my life in this post!
ReplyDeleteThe nosebleed worries me a little. Have you had your blood pressure checked lately? Please take good care of yourself, Nick. You are loved!
Nicholas, you haven't changed a bit since our college days! And that was 40 years ago.
ReplyDeleteTake care. We older guys jusr can't live as we once did. Well, maybe...
I am the same way, even after surgery- Take it easy!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you went back to bed and got some rest.. hoping that you'll soon be bright eyed and bushy tailed again..
ReplyDeleteThat'll learn ya, Nick! I hope you start getting your strength back soon, but take it easy, right? Right!
ReplyDeleteActually, I think Alex needs to take some responsibility here and start getting his own food, opening his own doors, etc...
Get well soon, Nick, and I hope your mother is out of hospital soon, too.
PEACH: You are so right! Unfortunately, intellectually I know what you say—I even realize when I am out of balance. I think I (all of us?) need a warning signal when we begin to go out of balance.
ReplyDeleteLAURIE: I feel better this afternoon. Perhaps I should say that I feel better at the moment. I am also so tried of being in bed, although beneath the covers is much better warmer than being up: I can feel the cold air coming through the windows.
LAWBRAT: Perhaps we are related. Sometimes I feel that everyone who family has lived in Louisville more than two generations is related! What was your mom's family's name?
SQUIRL: I think that I am caring for myself as best possible. I know I am caring well for Alex; he told me. Except he is teed off at me for not giving his as much of his wet cat food as he demands. However, when I do, the fur ball vomits it back up.
SILVER NEUROTIC: It sounds as if your grandmother might be related to me. Do think it may be a generational thing? After all, I am a grandfather.
ReplyDeleteTHOMAS: Thank you. I am over the worst of it. At least I hope that I am. I downloaded AbiWord a few days ago. I've used it for word processing. The problem has been that I could not access my resumes. MS Word wouldn't even allow me to copy them and past then into AbiWord so that I could submit them! Damn MicroSoft!
JEANNIEGRRL: Thank you. I downloaded and installed Open Office this afternoon. It is wonderful! It allowed me to open and edit and email my resume! I was finally able to apply for six jobs that I was had been too ill to completely re-write my resume to submit. I've yet to try all of the elements of Open Office, but I feel I no longer am a peasant dependent upon MicroSoft!
LYNN: Thank you for your concern. I don't know what caused the nose bleed, except it shouldn't be high blood pressure. My mother and I both have low blood pressure, which the medical community doesn't understand considering our obesity.
Hi Nick ~~ I do hope you are feeling much better by now. I can relate to being ill and on your own. I try to always have a cold drink with me
ReplyDelete(low cal cordial mostly) and to have a few meals in the freezer.
I hope yor mother is OK whe she gets
back to the rehab centre.
Take great care Nick, Cheers, Merle.
I think it's mostly Chronic F**k-Up Fatigue Syndrome that has you...you feel good, then you sabotage your healing, just as the $hrub has sabotaged the possibility that the US will ever have respect from other nations for the next 6 or 7 generations ;)
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better by the time I post this :)
*hugs*
lil sis