Three Funny Women

The Natural Girl for Me ~ Chad Mitchell Trio

I have fallen in love with three women -- three very funny women. Chelsea Handler, Sarah Silverman, and Kathy Griffin bring me smiles and laughs and, quite often, something to ponder as they break taboos and address topics that I am certain my mother would consider "nasty" or forbidden, be the subject sex or religion or racism. And that is why I have fallen in love with all three over the past couple of years.

Besides being intelligent and funny, I find it very pleasant to look at and dream about them. Ah...if only...

Anyways, I want to introduce them to you. I hope you have already met Chelsea, Kathy, and Sarah; I hope that they have brought you as many smiles as they have brought me. If not, well, allow me to give you just a very small taste of them. [Please note: none of these women speak Victorian English. None is pudish. However, your ears will not burn from the 3 clips below which contain bleeps).

Sarah Silverman

I first heard the name Sarah Silverman in connection with her dating TV talk show host, Jimmy Kimmel. The first time I saw her, I wasn't much impressed. That ended when I started to pay attention to her words and the nature of her comedy Sarah comedy takes on just about every taboo and "no-no" subject from racism and sexism to religion and prejudice. And, she does it well, sort of like a female Lenny Bruce. I love Sarah!

Kathy Griffin

When I first encountered Kathy Griffin, I did what many seem to do: I confused her with Kathy Griffith. Believe me, Ms. Griffin ain't anything like Ms. Griffith. Kathy Griffin tells stories and those stories often are, well, irreverent. She spoofs just about everyone, from Paula Abdul to her own mother. She is lively and she is very, very funny. I thank the day I encountered her!

Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler is the the latest funny woman I encountered. I was flipping my remote 4 clicks down from the Comedy channel to the History channel when I encountered the Chelsea Lately Show. It was the laughter that had me pause in my clicking and within the next couple of minutes I was hooked! I had never encountered Chelsea Handler and for a few minutes I thought her name might be Chelsea Lately. I've been clicking the remote to her show since that first experience and have not been disappointed.

In the clip from the Chelsae Lately Show below, you meet not only Chelsae but her, uh, side-kick, Chuy.

Sarah Silverman's Demented Humor

Kathy Griffin: on Catholics

Chelsea Handler: Chelsea Lately Show

Thank You, Osami

I have yet to post about my new caregiver, Osami. He is from Cuba and is working two (plus) jobs in order to save the money needed to bring his wife and son to the United States. That cost includes much more than a plane ticket; obtaining a visa from the U. S. State Department and permission from the Cuban government is quite expensive.

I've learned a lot about contemporary Cuba from Osami: about the poverty and oppression. He is not only the best educated caregiver I have ever had, but he has a knowledge the world and of history that I find delightful and exciting. We could converse for hours, if we only had the time.

Osami is the best caregiver that I have ever had. His skills, from being able to unstop a clogged toilet to teaching me how to control the setting on my new hospital bed, have increased the quality of my life. He not only provides excellent care, but he encourages me in ways that no other caregiver has. For example, over the past month he has urged me to open my guitar case that has been sitting untouched in the living room for more than a year. He said he wanted to hear me play and sing.

The other day I finally listened to him. My finger tips need toughening, my voice is more raspy than I remember, and my singing seems hampered by my inability to breath as I once did. Osami's encouragement had me feeling as if none of that mattered. I felt lightened of burdens as I sang. I smiled at the photographs that Osami took of me. I have become determined to play and sing each day, perhaps even giving in to Osami's urging to record some new music videos.

Thank you, Osami, my friend!

Deportee

Do you remember my friend Tiffany, my long time cyber-buddy and one time housekeeper that I introduced to blogging? She has returned to write a bit on her blog, but her words are not words of joy. Her boyfriend is being deported to Mexico.

Please drop by Tiffany's blog and offer some kind words. She really needs to hear from us. OK?

DEPORTEE
by
Woody Guthrie

Goodbye to my Juan, farewell Roselita
Adios mes amigos, Jesus e Maria
You won't have a name when you ride the big airplane
All they will call you will be deportees

Irritate!

You may not have wanted to be around me yesterday (Tuesday). I was, uh, irritable. Yeah, me! Perhaps you may not have noticed my mood: I smiled, made pleasant and even humorous statements. I may have seemed like good ole' Charlie Brow...., a mean, jolly Sometimes Saintly Nick. However, below that exterior I felt provoked unto aggravation! Or something like that.



I felt irritated because people irritated me. The beginning of the day was excellent! When I opened my mail I found a check for a very small amount of money. Very small! However, it was still twice the amount I had in the bank. That check would seem a paltry sum to most, but I was excited because I had a vision of being able to pay the (seemingly) insignificant co-pay to refill my Rx for Furosemide, the medicine that I take for congestive heart failure. I had been concerned early yesterday morning because I had taken the last tablet of Furosemide and knew I did not have the small co-pay I needed to have it refilled for another month.

Do you realize the joy I had when I opened that envelope and found that small check which was four times what I needed for the co-pay? All I had to do was meet with three people who were coming to my house from the company with whom the Veterans Administration has a contract to provide oxygen to us lungers.

But that was the rub. The three showed up half an hour late for the appointment. And the stated purpose for the visit -- to check on the equipment that they supplied -- was, uh, a bit understated. They did much more than check the equipment!

When the three came through the door, I felt as if my home was being invaded. They went throughout my home, not only looking at the oxygen compressor and bottled oxygen that their company provides, but searching to see if I had a fully-charged fire extinguisher and working smoke alarms.

One alarm didn't beep when the commander-in-chief punched it with one of my sticks, so I handed her a nine-volt battery and pointed to the small ladder in the spare bedroom while telling her that I don't do ladders. She climbed the ladder and replaced the battery. Very good!

Up to this point I was annoyed by their lateness, arrival like a squad of Nazi Storm Troopers, and invasive behavior. However, what took place next really got me pissed off--uh, I mean irate.

The chief inquisitor began asking me all sorts of asinine questions, such as do I ever fall down, do I use my gas stove, do I understand how to operate the oxygen compressor (huh? I've been using an oxygen compressor since 1991), do I have emergency telephone numbers written down by the phone (hell no! I have them programed into the telephone!) What was my fire escape plan? (Well, if I am in the front of the house, I grab Alex and go out the front door; if I am in the back of the house, I grab Alex and go out the back door).

While I was being interrogated, one of the other three stooges walked into my bathroom and examined the expiration dates on my medicines. He commented that one would expire in about 4 months. And, I, feeling less and less saintly, replied that I will have consumed it before it expires. Besides, WTF do my medicines have to do with oxygen provision?

Then he asked me how much I weigh! And did I want to ask VA to rent an hospital bed for my use from his company!

Do you understand what was behind my increasing irritation? Why a began feeling like I want to live as a 100% hermit? How deep inside me some primitive spark flickered with the desire to chase them out of the house with one of my samurai swords? Why I wished that Alex (who cat napped through the entire invasion) was an attack cat, maybe a puma?


Well, I remained cool and even gentlemanly. I smiled and said appropriate things and even told couple of jokes... even though I had the desire to ask them, "WTF, do I appear to be a blithering idiot?"

After the invading troops withdrew, I glanced at my watch and realized that I had only about 25 minutes to make it to the bank before it closed. I did make it and I made it to the drug store and I obtained another 30 days of Furosemide.

Lord, I thank you that this day is over! Amen.

Speak Softly with Authority While Breathing in Peace & Breathing Out Love

You have the gift of gab today and everywhere you turn, the words continue to slip out. You are at your best when you are talking about your recent experiences, yet this isn't a time to rest on past achievements. Throw caution to the wind and open your mind as wide as possible before acknowledging that you can do anything you want.

The above was my horoscope yesterday. Do I believe in horoscopes? Well, uh, no, I don't. Do I trust horoscopes? Of course not. Then why do I read horoscopes? Well, uh...let me tell you a story, which you may already know if you read Nick's Bytes post on Monday:

An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find that over his desk a horseshoe was nailed to the wall.

The American said with a nervous laugh, "Surely you don't believe that horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?"

Bohr chuckled. "I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not!"

So... even though I don't believe in horoscopes, I took that part about the gift of gab and decided to spend the day using my voice to solve some of the varied pickles that I seem to have recently found myself in. So.... I spent six hours on the phone with the following results:

• My bank ended future $35 overdraft charges & refunded $43 from the last $105 of charges.
  

• Direct-TV agreed to refund of the mistaken charge they took from account that led to that $105.00 overdraft charge. However, they refused to refund it to my VISA/debit card account and are issuing a check which they say won't reach me for 3-4 weeks.

• After 3 phone calls (to India, I think) I convinced Salliemae to allow ME to control payments on my 22-year-old seminary student loan rather than their computer.
  

• With the refunded $43 I was able to pay the $5 Medicare co-pay for a critical Rx that I have been out of for over a week

I am telling you this not to boast of my success, but to explain how I was able to do it. For all of my gift of gab, I have difficulty dealing with the minions of huge, capitalist corporations.I usually end up feeling as if I am (1) being talked down to, (2) discounted, and (3) treated as a thing rather than a human being. I also often feel oppressed, with all of the powerlessness that goes with oppression.

Phrases like the computer won't allow that, it is our policy, and that is not our problem usually have me seeing red and triggering in me the fight or flight response.

Yesterday I decided not to be manipulated. Thus, during each phone call I not only dialogued with the agent and presented my case, but I also paid attention to my breathing. With each in breath I thought Peace in; with each out breath I thought Love out.

It worked. It worked well. I did not feel intimidated to the point of giving up and running. I only came once close to forsaking peace for a yelling match. That was with the very nasty and inflexible woman at Direct-TV who was unable to say anything that wasn't in her script-book. So, I asked to speak to her supervisor, to which she replied (probably from the script) that the waiting time to speak with a supervisor was at least 45 minutes. Frustrated and close to losing my cool, I said to the woman, No, thank you. I promise you that I will, however, tell my blog readers of our conversation, mentioning, of course, Direct-TV. I just kept my promise.

Blessings, peace, and love to you, my friends.

John Brown's Body

One hundred fifty years ago today, abolitionist John Brown led his small group on men to raid the United States Arsenal located at Harper's Ferry, Virginia (now located in West Virginia).

Brown planned to remove the weapons and ammunition from the arsenal and provide them to slaves in support of an uprising against slavery. It was ill-planned and turned into a fiasco. The first causality of the raid was Hayward Shepherd, an African-American freedman, who confronted the raiders and was shot and killed by them. Thus a freed slave became the first casualty of the raid.

The townspeople of Harper's Ferry took up arms again the raiders, who took shelter in in a small brick building, the engine house. By the end of the day, eight raiders were dead or dying; five others were cut off. Two had escaped across the river, an escape route subsequently blocked by militia.

On the morning of October 17, Brown and the remaining raiders found that they were surrounded by a company of U.S. Marines, under the command of Lt. Col. Robert E. Lee. (Yes, he was that Robert Edward Lee). Lee send A young lieutenant, J.E.B. Stuart (yes, that James Ewell Brown "Jeb" Stuart), under a white flag to inform Brown and his men that, if the raiders surrendered, their lives would be spared.

Brown refused, so the marines stormed the building and all were captured. Brown was tried and found guilty of treason against Virginia (note that he was not charged with treason against the United States). John Brown was hanged at Charleston on December 2, 1859.

The stately, fearless, unrepentant manner in which he comported himself in court and on the gallows made him a martyr in parts of the North. (Historical Times Encyclopedia of the Civil War. Edited by Patricia L. Faust)

A century and a half after these events, John Brown is still remembered. Was he crazy? Was he a prophet? Was he a villain? Was her a hero? Was he a martyr? Why did he not escape when he could? Why did he not surrender and save his own life? I don't have the answers to these questions.

Whereas, Slavery, throughout its entire existence in the United States is none other than a most barbarous, unprovoked, and unjustifiable War of one portion of its citizens upon another portion; the only conditions of which are perpetual imprisonment, and hopeless servitude or absolute extermination; in utter disregard and violation of those eternal and self-evident truths set forth in our Declaration of Independence. ~ John Brown at his trial, 1858

I want you to understand that I respect the rights of the poorest and weakest of colored people, oppressed by the slave system, just as much as I do those of the most wealthy and powerful. That is the idea that has moved me, and that alone. ~ John Brown at his trial, 1858

I, John Brown, am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land will never be purged away but with blood. ~ John Brown's last letter, the day he was hanged. December 2, 1859

I do know that long before I read a biography of John Brown, I knew and sang this song about him:

John Brown's body lies a-mouldering in the grave,
John Brown's body lies a-mouldering in the grave,
But his soul goes marching on.

Chorus:
Glory, glory, hallelujah,
Glory, glory, hallelujah,
His soul goes marching on.

He's gone to be a soldier in the Army of the Lord,
He's gone to be a soldier in the Army of the Lord,
His soul goes marching on.
Chorus:

John Brown's knapsack is strapped upon his back,
John Brown's knapsack is strapped upon his back,
His soul goes marching on.
Chorus:

John Brown died that the slaves might be free,
John Brown died that the slaves might be free,
His soul goes marching on.
Chorus:

The stars above in Heaven now are looking kindly down,
The stars above in Heaven now are looking kindly down,
His soul goes marching on.
Chorus:

Please take a moment to
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A Day in My Life

Thy shall not take thyself seriously ~ The 11th Commandment

The only thing that makes life possible is permanent,
intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.
~ Ursula K. LeGuin

Whatever it is, embrace it and remember it because it might just be these little things that make life worthwhile. ~ Enola Reverof

September 16, 2009

• 03:20 AM Awake after 5 hours sleep; switch from C-PAP to nose hose; upper respiratory congestion/hard to breath
• 03:35 AM Take meds; sit until able to breath; BBC World Service on radio
• 03:50 AM Breathing OK; feed, water, groom, hug, pet Alex; open front door for the cat who owns me; BBC World Service on radio
• 04:20 AM health measurements & breakfast; BBC World Service on radio
• 04:40 AM Alex: snacks & hugs; BBC World Service on radio
• 04:55 AM Online: news/bank account statement/emails/Facebook; BBC World Service on radio
• 05:15 AM Morning prayers & mediation
• 05:50 AM Join Alex in an early morning nap
• 08:10 AM Coffee on the deck while playing with Alex
• 08:35 AM Draft & post FaceBook comment: I don't believe that President Carter is speaking of those who disagree with the policies or philosophy of President Obama as they would if he were a "white man," but of the "... inherent feeling among many in this country that an African-American should not be president."
• 08:45 AM: Dudes here (much too early) to cut grass; Alex frightened by sound of gas-powered trimmer & blower. Hold/cuddle Alex until trimming ends.
  
• 09:05 AM: Another FaceBook comment written & posted:"Theologians have found a similar relationship regarding the belief in angels: when times are changing or rough or frightening, angelology is prevalent only to almost disappear when times are more serene (whenever that is)."
• 09:10 AM Various telephone calls. Unable to reach human beings at AT&T or Direct-TV. Talked with humans at bank & VA.
• 09:20 AM Prep for visit by my physcian from MD2U.
• 09:30 AM Use portable oxygen tank; walk down the street ro where my CR -V is parked; drive CR-V back to parking spot in fron of my house.
• 09:45 AM After parking car, watched a well disciplined cat (not Alex, who doesn't meet the criteria) chase a squirrel across its lawn but stop at the curb when squirrel ran into the street. I was amazed that the cat didn't follow the squirrel into the street.
• 09:55 AM Claudette, my doc from MD2U, arrived. Good examination; again she was pleased with my health. On Saturday Claudette is leaving for three weeks of hiking around Europe. She has promised to make me a CD of the pictures she takes in Europe so that I can go on the trip vicariously.
• 10:30 AM I sent Naeema, my new care giver, to the drug store to pick up a prescription refill that Claudette called in.
• 10:45 AM Posted another comment in response to Bill on Facebook: The Klu Klux Klowns article is accurate & more than a bit concerning. I've been a member of the Southern Poverty Law Center for years; their "Klan Watch" has reported stuff that is more than concerning. It is frightening.
• 10:55 AM Printed a copy of Monday's T.I.B.M. post for Naeema.
• 11:00 AM Read a few chapters of current mystery book
• 11:40 AM Replied to note regarding this video: Cute cat, isn't it. Alex, of course, did not LOL when he saw it. I think that's why he used his blog to tell the world that that cat is weird.
• 11:50 AM Alex and I went out on the deck; he sunned himself and I read.
• 12:35 PM Lunch/watch end of CSI
• 01:10 PM Can't find Alex
• 01:50 PM Found Alex! Naeema had shut himl in the food pantry. Lots of snuggling of the silly furball, whose exploring keeps getting him into trouble. Why didn't the furball meow while I was searching for him for 40 minutes? Damn! He really scared me.
• 02:20 PM Down for long afternon nap.
• 06:05 PM Awake from nap;treats and snuggles for Alex.
• 06:15 PM Get and read snail mail out of mailbox. Damn! A $70.00 water bill! (Only $18.00 is for water; the remainder are miscellaneous charges, such as sewer tax and rain water run-off charge, etc).
• 06:20 PM Refresh Alex's food; put potato in microwave for me.
• 06:35 PM Dinner/watch NCIS on TV
• 07:05 PM Snuggle Alex and hand him some cat treats
• 07:15 PM Telephone my mother: she told me in detail everything that she did today, including her 4 visitors and what each said.
• 07:35 PM Out on the porch with Alex and a book, hoping to watch the sun set.
• 08:05 PM It becoming too dark to read outside, I came in to play with the Farm Town game on FaceBook. Alex remains on the porch, looking for a buddy with whom to cat around. I left the door open so he can come in whenever he wants.
• 08:20 PM Alex stampeded into house and leaped on my desk and demanded to use the computer to work on his blog, Alexicon.
• 08:30 PM Gave up on using computer since Alex in now sleeping in front of it. So I went into the living room to watch TV.
• 10:10 PM Saddened by the death of Mary Travers from leukemia.I posted this to FaceBook: I just learned of her death. I knew that her leukemia had her hospitalized and that her death was imminent. I miss her already. Did you know that she was from Louisville? I first met Mary when I was in high school. I spoke briefly with her again after I was discharged from the army and P,P,&M played a concert here.
• 10:40 PM Alex clawed me to open the front door for him. He's sitting in the doorway, looking out. I am beginning to put together this blog post.

On line at 5:00 AM

Claudette, my MD2U physcian

Naeema, my 9-hours-per-week care giver

My latest mystery (in second library)

Flag Counter for Nick's Bytes

My Farm Town farm

Alex & the Pantry

Alex & Alexicon

I Miss You, Mary Travers

I've Not Posted Mishmash in Quite a While

REMEMBER:



Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse


Enola is hosting the August edition of Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse on August 21st. I have already submitted my entry.


Congratulations to me!


A technician came to my home the other day and ran ultrasound on my legs. She reported that I have no blood clots in them. Actually, I never have had any blood cloths, but the continued swelling and congestive heart failure concerns my doc.


Congratulations to my son, Rob!


Congratulations to my son, Rob, and Kimberly on their engagement. Learning about the engagement from Rob’s Facebook Wall sidebar was rather strange.












WTF?


What is this site and how did this Nick’s Bytes post get there so corrupted?





As of last Tuesday...


I am fully divorced from Ma Bell. AT&T will not screw me again! (I hope)


I wonder…


Why we pay so much for cable/satellite TV? Is it so that we can watch programs with more commercials than regular TV? Or do we cherish having at least a third of the stations dedicated to “paid programming,” trying to sell us stuff no one really wants to buy?




The furball now owns the desk




I have had less time with my computer since Alex took over my desk and parks himself where the cordless keyboard normally sits!

Positive Stuff!

Today is Positive Day!

Alex's Fur

The other day when Alex came inside from his midnight catting around, I noticed that he had some fur missing from the back of his neck. Against the furball's wishes, I washed the area and put some antibiotic ointment on the wound.

Later I posted these words to Facebook:

Alex just came in from his morning catting around and again he has a chunk of fur torn out of the back of his next. This hasn't happened in more than a year. I wish I knew which of his playmates (or maybe an enemy cat) did that. It makes me reluctant to let him go outside, which isn't fair to Alex, especially since I've not seen what damage HE did to the other cat. Why can't cats get along peacefully like us humans?

I am so glad I did, because Michelene commented:

If Alex is missing only from the top of his neck though, it's fine. it's playful. It's anywhere else you'd need to worry. The scruff is a play/friendly zone.

I've confirmed her observation with a couple of cat sites on the Internnet and am delighted that now know that my furball isn't fighting other cats but playing with them!

Desmond Tutu Honors Aung San Suu Kyi

This week as Amnesty International awarded jailed Burmese democracy leader and Nobel Prize laurette Aung San Suu Kyi, Desmond Tutu, the former Archbishop of Cape Town and also a recipient of the Nobel peace prize. wrote:

Aung San Suu Kyi and the people of Burma deserve nothing less than our most strenuous efforts to help them secure their freedom. Every day we must ask ourselves: have we done everything that we can? I pledge that I will not rest until Aung San Suu Kyi, and all the people of Burma, are free. Please join me.

To read all of Archbishop Tutu's words, please go HERE.

2009 Presidential Medal of Freedom Recepiants

On July 3oth President Obama announced 16 recipients of the 2009 Presidential Medal of Freedom, America’s highest civilian honor. The awards will be presented on August 12. Below is a partial list of the receptients. For the full list and details about teh receoients, please click HERE to go to the White House.

• Stephen Hawking, internationally-recognized theoretical physicist and the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University.
• Sen. Edward Kennedy, who has worked tirelessly for health care reform over the last five decades.
• Billie Jean King, teens star, who has championed gender equality issues not only in sports, but in all aspects of life.
• Rev. Joseph Lowery, a leader of the civil rights movement since the 1950s, and co-founder of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference along with Dr. Martin Luther King.
• Dr. Joseph Medicine Crow, the last living Plains Indian war chief and author of works on Native American history and culture who has served as an inspiration to young Native Americans across the country.
• Harvey Milk, the first openly gay elected official from a major city in the United States.
• Sandra Day O’Connor, Supreme Court Justice from 1981 until her retirement in 2006, who was the first woman ever to sit on the Supreme Court.
• Sidney Poitier, the first African American to be nominated and win a Best Actor Academy Award.
• Mary Robinson, the first female President of Ireland who was also United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights.
• Desmond Tutu, widely regarded as "South Africa’s moral conscience," who was a leading anti-apartheid activist in South Africa.

KATZ are always positive (& funny)